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Consequences of A Love Affair

Missing image
~by Gregg Rowe~

’Oft -- sadly she sings her lover’s sweet song --
As whispered winds wind down her wounded soul.
Remembered moonlight midnights they had stole,
Their season love affair, willow branch strong.

Her bleeding heart echoes six chords she sung --
Green leaf tongues whip through the cold windy air.
She cuddles the lullaby -- sheds a tear;
And rocks a bundle that’s fragile and young.

The wind choruses them to come and join --
While gasping gusts of breeze grazes her face.
Illicit love affair -- her fall from grace;
As memory of pain comes from her groin.

To the cold waters she has been beckoned --
To join her lover in His underworld.
Before mother and child she did hurl --
A smile for life -- for just a second.

Author notes


Written February 23rd, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • sappho87
    April 8, 2006
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    Damn. I was so sure I knew who Id give places to(even though I havent read all the entries yet....>_> <_< -_-; )but a poem like this...Most definitely makes me rethink my choices...Thats really all I can say to express the awe this poem has made me feel. At the moment, I seem to have lost any way with words. ^_^; (It could be that I havent really slept in four days but...)
    My point is, this is beautiful. And while I know I use the word someone regularily(it seems I only run across good poems here, heh)...I mean it so much more wholeheartedly here. Ahh, I cannot express myself so Ill cut this short.
    Thanks very, very much for your entry and for your patience in this long process and good luck!

  • Piperlady1973
    January 29, 2006
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    Powerful

    affairs are one of the biggest actions unfortunately on earth and the many reactions and feelings that come after are amazing. This is an excellent write on the reactions that come after an affair.

    God Bless

    Thanna


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    January 29, 2006
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    Excellent

    An affair born of the heart an action embarked upon and if I am reading this correctly a reaction to this action a child is born. The poem is very emotional and I am sure that a lot of people can relate to this write.. When one first starts an affair they are following the actions of their heart the feelings felt at the time.. But how sad that in reality these affairs of love can turn so sour and hearts be left broken this also ending up with a reaction of no longer wishing to live therefore committing an action that removes them from the world. Excellent entry Good Luck ~Brian~

  • Aimee the Great
    June 4, 2005
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    Yes, you have grasped the basics, and with a much firmer grip, I am afraid that I have. I apoloigize, and once again, this is a fine poem!

    Aimee


  • lordoftherings gold member
    June 1, 2005
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    Aimee: I understand your comment about stole but stole can be present, past and past participle would be stolen. Of course I need to economize on a syllable count here, but I also feel that there is more past present than past particple in stole? What do you think, I am not that great at grammer but feel I have grasped the basics. Gregg

  • Aimee the Great
    May 10, 2005
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    Very mature poem, and I really appreciate that. (I am so sick of all the... childishness that is found in the majority of the poems on this site!) One little comment, This is a little... illiterate: Remembered moonlight midnights they had stole,
    , it should be 'stolen' but, don't fret, I know why you did it, it makes the poem rhyme. Great poem! Thanks for entering my contest!
    Aimee

  • lordoftherings gold member
    February 24, 2005
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    Estraya: Do not let your age deter you away from the art, or the calibre of some writers compared to yourself...it is not fair to you as the artist. I am 44 years old and have 30 years writing experience, you are just 16 and have the whole world ahead of you. Read, read, read the poets and keep what you like, discard the rest, experiment with form, play with words and most of all, write from the heart and leave the intelligence for editing. Thanks for commenting on my poems and will return the favor. Gregg
    Edited on Feb 25, 1:31 p.m. because ''.


  • February 24, 2005
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    amazing wording

    Heya, I can't believe how well you write! I wish I could write better. I know I'm only 16 and have a lot of time but you make me jealous! I really liked "the breeze grazes her face" line the most because its just really original, and you think of the wind sort of actually grazing her...I like sad poems in a wierd way. I'm not good at commenting but I hope you gathered that I liked it. Well done

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    February 23, 2005
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    Yes, it does seem sad to me as well. Even if death were not the end result... the lonliness and despair are enough to make a persona shiver. Very good use of figurative language. A truly well penned piece of poetry. Sending the best of wishes......~genielassie~


  • February 23, 2005
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    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well what can i say THIS FUCKING SUCKED SO MUCH THAT IT MADE ME WANT TO CRY. J/K actually i personally liked it i just had to do something like that though. lol well i g2g so seeyah. good job and keep up the good work. lolololol that looks kool.


  • Kethry
    February 23, 2005
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    Wow! This is powerful and gripping. There is a sense of helplessnessthat runs through this, that I don't know if you intended but it adds so much power.

  • pozo
    February 23, 2005
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    Aww this is a good poem which I liked a lot. It was so fantastic and reminded me of forbidden love. I liked to read this, it was a fantastic write which I liked a lot- so beautiful and fantastical (is that a word lol?)
    Keep writing, this was great
    All the best,
    Pozo


  • February 23, 2005
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    good

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well what can i say THIS FUCKING SUCKED SO MUCH THAT IT MADE ME WANT TO CRY. J/K actually i personally liked it i just had to do something like that though. lol well i g2g so seeyah. good job and keep up the good work. lolololol that looks kool.


  • Poetic-Goddess
    February 23, 2005
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    Wow this is really good...alot of deep thought..great work


  • Mohawk
    February 23, 2005
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    very interesting... if i had more points i would applaud it lol...


  • melphleg gold member
    February 23, 2005
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    Such a sad poem but indeed shows the awful consequences of an illicit affair. Very well written and good moral point. I applaud the morality and message.

  • perfectdrummer
    February 23, 2005
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    Very nice...a lot of deep thought and good imagery was put into this. The background picture actually does add a lot to it. Good job on this one!

  • dragonzfly714
    February 23, 2005
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    WOW!! Thats really good...shows some deep thought...great job!


  • April Renee
    February 23, 2005
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    very sad. i read it as she killed herself and the baby. ?. not sure if im right. but very sad. good job with writing it though. too many times the consequences aren't contemplated until its too late. i dont know. sad. was worth the read. enjoyed.

    Blu

  • lordoftherings gold member
    February 23, 2005
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    Fleabug4059 11 minutes ago
    244 critiques, 222 poems. Currently online. said:
    wow I kind of feel like that right now.great write lots of feeling

    fleabug (delete?) (reply?)


  • snafu
    February 23, 2005
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    Beautiful mate. Words imagery everything. I love that "Just for a second". Beautiful finish and a beautiful poem.

  • x garamChai
    February 23, 2005
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    Oh, so sweet and full of regret...it takes courage to own up to something like this, but then again, she's just dealing with the inevitable...so poignant and just dripping with pathos-much love

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