Rainwater stands in rippling pools, or trickles by.
Sharp fusillades of hail pelt down...and glance --
Far distant thunder calls, and echoes a reply.
Sunshine, streaming through the clouds, lights up the sky;
Like sunlight, shattered by a prism, rainbows dance --
Rainwater stands in rippling pools, or trickles by.
In search of worms, a daring robin, keen and spry --
As warbling songbirds greet a pristine world, entranced.
Far distant thunder calls, to echo a reply.
The earth seems, here and there, to nearly liquify --
Stray raindrops falling, glisten...happenstance.
Rainwater stands in rippling pools, or trickles by.
In full glorious bloom, wildflowers revivify...
Like tiny armies, windswept, sway and prance;
While distant thunder calls, to echo a reply.
Rows of thunderheads, arraigned, withdraw on high --
While shadows flee -- daylight makes swift advance.
Rainwater stands in rippling pools, or trickles by;
While distant thunder calls, to echo a reply.
LYRICAL IOWA, 1993
Author notes
Written September 23rd, 1994
A contest entry
- Monday's Winkling Surprise #57 by Winklings.
1800 points, ended March 28, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This was very beautifully written. Lovely imagery and thoughts expressed. Very well crafted write!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Lovely write.
Keep it up =] -
This is a very strong poem portraying the aftermath of a storm. Your imagery, as always was superb, I was standing there as the final rumble of thunder died away.
Great rhyme and flow.
Thank you for entering this poem and we hope you will join us again on our journey through the contests, so we may read more from you...Sue
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This is beautiful. I can hear those huge raindrops splashing around my feet to the sound of birdsong. The imagery is fantastic and loved the rhyme flow throughout.
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WOW
This is such a beautiful Villanelle-type. To make this form sing you HAVE to be good and I will tell you, I was humming the melody. LOVELY.
My favorite line is
"Far distant thunder calls, to echo a reply." I just find that so visual and part of the ending of the storm.
Wonderful work here, written with a skilled hand. ~Pamela
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Lyrical Iowa indeed!
Storms blowing in from Lake Superior?
A striking Villanelle, poet. There is something cleansing about one's feelings on breathing the air, smelling wet earth, hearing birds, and surveying the landscape and sky. You have been alive to this in your lines.
The poetic line is naturally worked and fundamentally fine poetry.
Lyndon of thge Winklings.
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What's wrong ...
with Lyrical Iowa?
That's where the poem was first published.
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Sounds like the Arizona spring rains in the desert when for a little while everything is green and the yellow wild flowers and red poppies cover the hills. This is lovely and brought a strong response to the loveliness. Distinct possibility of a win in this contest.
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i love the word choice and your creativity. this rox!!!!
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A very accomplished villanelle--beautiful and appropriate imagery and wording, nothing forced. Excellent piece.
Bill
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Wow! 1994!? That means when you wrote this... I was six years old!
Well now this was amazing! Really it was full of such deep and vivid word choice and imagery... everything about it... was splendid you really did a fabulous job bringing this to life. Thanks so much for entering this classic piece and good luck.
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very good
a beautifully descriptive write ,thank you for sharing this with us it brings to mind the sunshine and also that *damp* just rained smell that freshens evrywhere up as the sun comes out to dry the puddles..exelent work. good luck in the contest
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The most beautiful rainbow I ever saw was in Iowa. It was so vivid.
Your images are very lovely. 
I have always liked this form of poetry, though I have never been able to pull it off. Good work! -
nice repitition it went with the poem very well...this flowed very well...also it has a very interesting mood to it it makes this even more interesting to read...the imagery was also very good...overall good job
good luck in the contest
thank you for entering
nyx -
Bravo! I like the rain, very much, and this poem gave a very interesting perspective.
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thanks for the lessons man
this poem moves.it is alive.i should take more notes when i read
for the sake of analysis.and now will.not to copy,but to understand how a good poem functions.how it breathes and ultimately moves right off the page,or in this case screen,and into the mind of the reader. -
I have never quite grasped the villanelle form, but for those who can do it, it adds luster as well as greater rhythm and structure to nearly any subject matter. I have always found it difficult to write these, and so stay far away from any challenge to use them.
I see how you opened a window into several aspects of nature--for example, the robin's quest for a meal (the unwitting worm). Sharp descriptions highlight the piece, offsetting it from 'simple' nature poems. I can't complain.
All the best to you in the contest.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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A well done Spring poem that shows how an aware poet can show that "words" can create "visuals" (especially, within and upon the cranium wall). Also, the poet shows the ability to invoke other senses with their work,i.e., as this is without a doubt an aural poem as well. Most importantly, at least for me, the poem communicates, reaches out and touches the reciever both in the mind and actually physically because the work is wonderfully delivered with the awareness (or/and natural sense of ability) of the vibrations well handle words can produce and that play upon the physical sinews of the work's receiver like some string instrument!
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I greatly enjoy "simple nature poems" (this seems like an oxymoron to me, as nothing could be more profoundly and complexly lovely than nature...particularly just before or after a storm). And, I must say, I think you did this very well. My favorite line in this piece is "Stray raindrops falling, glisten...happenstance." There is just something magical about it...captures a feeling I've had perfectly. And, really...isn't that just miraculous, when you think about it?
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I for one love poems about nature in all her guises. This again is beautiful and the imagery it creates is amazing. Takes the reader to the midst of the write. Superb! So glad i stopped by to read your work....Take care...mal
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People claim to dislike simple nature poem!! pish posh. well that's my opinion of them anyway. I hope you keep this poem posted on this site, because I thought it was lovely. And I don't think it was so called "simple," you were suyccessful in creating some wonderful imagery with the theme of rain, and your rhymes were great too.
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