Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Untitled For a Reason

Getting through my life just like a dead
Seeing things as if I lost my head
Mostly, I don't want to leave my bed
I am already dead

My tears are like the sweetest mortal wine
My fears are those of death, but not of mine
If you ask me how I am I'll tell you "Fine"
Tell me I am thine

Am I clearer now on why I wished to die?
I had my wings but forgotten how to fly
Nodding, you forget to ask me why
I still wish to die

Author notes


Written December 9th, 2004

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • raspberry Greeters member
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This structure is sooo good and seems wonderful in every sense..... the expressions are well explained
    With intense meaning.. this is really such a good work...
    this seems soo gooood.. and flawless...

    and absolutely the sort of read.. which any poet would always wish to read..
    Do keep posting such good work...
    Its realllly very gooooood : )


  • Smores Girl89
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    mmm.. i don't know what to say.. if you're actually feeling like this i hope you feel better soon.. but anyway, quite a feelingful write. wonderful job, my friend. keep it up

    -m-


  • Blazing White Wolf
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    MJ a great write honey. Beautiful but there are many that wish you here with us.
    ~~~~Love and Light~~~~
    ~~Blaze~~


  • -Lonely-Prisoner-
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "I had my wings but forgotten how to fly"
    i am never going to forget that line, i am in love with this line, lol, omg, anyway back to the whole poem, this is really well written, its really different to what i usually read, well done , keep it up! i mean it!!! be safe

    Re xXx

  • Mj gold member
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Please do!

    And thanks for reading my work...

    Love, MJ


  • anyonita jenea
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i love this...i specifically love the third stanza...the repetition through different styles and through the use of synonyms is amazing and hints toward your immpeccable talent! this is definitely untitled for a reason...what would the title be anyway? i don't think there is one word in the english language to sum up the raw emotions, the feelings expressed here...and i'm sort of glad for that, for when there are no words, that's when things speak loudest. honestly, i am greatly impressed both with this poem and the fact that you took the time to comment on my piece...sorry that you've felt the same...may you find sustenance for your aching soul. thank you for offering your listening ears...i just may have to take you up on that offer
    anyonita

1 - 6 of 6