Timid breeze whispering calls.
To wanton stars in hazy skies,
A Nymph blushes in cool stream
And bathes beneath the night owl's eyes.
She sits upon the rocky mound,
Diamond drops kiss breast so white,
Runs fingers through her raven hair,
As she thinks now of Love's delight.
Soft kisses that touched ivory throat,
And stirred the passion deep within.
How could this love he wove so well
Be considered mortal sin.
He is a mortal,she a nymph,
She'd watched him in the forest glade,
And saw him twist the supple willow
For the baskets that he made.
Laughing when his hand did slip,
He turned and saw her standing there.
She'd never seen a mortal man,
His form was strong,his locks so fair.
He swore to her an undying pledge,
Through the summer love did grow,
And in the bower in the glade,
They loved beneath the moon's pale glow.
She raised her eyes now to the moon,
And knew her secret she would keep,
Then stepped into her gossamer gown,
Re-traced her steps to forest deep.
Author notes
Written February 22nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Hi won, lol, hugs Di thanks a million, did not even know it had
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Beautiful tale and the rhyme was not forced. Lovely. It is great to see someone use "old style" words for this sort of write. Adds to the realism and flair. Great write again. I applaud you. Congrats on the well deserved bronze.
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean -
Love and fantasy always make the best mix! It makes for a more powerful write since it's considered "forbidden" but at the same time we can all relate to some form of "forbidden" love. I enjoyed this piece and the background/picture really added to the whole feel of the poem. Most people don't think of things like that as much! Nice work! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck
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Hi, thank you very much. I removed the others as you said they were all wrong, all the best with your comp. hugs D
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm This is good. I liked it. I liked it. NOW STOP WITHDRAWING THINGS FROM MY COMPETITION!!! lol. oh well.. Thanks for entering. good luck and God bless!!
a fellow artist,
Lostinhope -
Congratulations sweetie, wanted to catch ya before you were off for bed, a beauty Di! Annie
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Hi my friend, we have to dream sometimes, thanks a million hugs Di
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Di, you always manage to weave wonderful stories in your poems, no matter what you write about. I would personally like to think that every time I stop by your realm, I find out something new about the myths that I didn't previously know, and that's always exciting. Ah, forbidden love! Sometimes, as this piece teaches me, one must take a leap of faith and push destiny in the favored position--hey, it's worth a try. I tried to convince someone once, but I suppose that wasn't meant to happen...ah, well. I'll keep trying. This is beautiful, as always.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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Great Piece!
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Superb
Wonderful write your words are very touching and so very vivid. Your amazing poet. I give this Two Thumbs Up on this fine write. I so hope to read more of your work,and thank you for sharing this with my family and I. Keep up the awesome job you do,as an fantastic poet.
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love it
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Brilliant as always
I love this soooo much, your writing is amazing and conjures up great imagery for me, I was there!
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A very well written poem with finely phrased structures... A good blend of words and meaning.. keep up the good work.... it was a lovely read...
With intense meaning.. this is really such a good work... its long.. since ive rested my eyes on very fine poetry.. but this seems soo gooood.. and flawless...
and absolutely the sort of read.. which any poet would always wish to read..
Do keep posting such good work...
Its extrordinarily gooooood : ) -
Forbidden love...excellent. And the mystical nature of it is wonderful...Very sensual in a sweet kind of way. Excellent write!
--Animaechick
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Wow! ^_^
That's some great imagery you have there! Played off really well! Made me think of Greek Mythology actually! This is grand.
It actually makes me wonder what happens next! LOL
Good luck in the contest! -
'Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm a truly good selection that is for sure but there were a few minor errors but those don't really matter. well i reaaly like your selection. it was truly emotional. keep up the good work and good luck in the future. I am looking forward to reading more of your selections. well best of luck in the future. very good job. well bye for now. happy trailsgfh
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vivid
I really loved IT! I love the entire mystery to it with the "different worlds". It is wonderful! -
givs it a standing ovation
i love your poem it was so good i realy wish that i could write that good -
all us wood nymphs applaud you.excellent imagery. it stirs so many emotions.I look forward to reading more of your work.
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The medieval quality and eloquent style really took me away. This really tells a story and invites the viewer to be a part of it. Excellent wokr, loved it! let me know wen u next visit the bower
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This poem made me think of all the poems written long ago for a royal court~ wonderful flow~ beautiful imagery~ captivating til the end! A most enjoyed read! Best wishes~~Me
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Great
I agree with Kirika on this one, I did love the poem. I thought the flow was very great. Keep writing you have some talent -
oh this is simply beautiful, you wove a lovely tale like his baskets and the descriptions were totally dreamy. Enjoyed every word of it.
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Awesome
Loved it! It has an awesome flow, grabs reader's attention till end. Your verses are beautiful and well written.
And thanks for your comment on my poem "Heavenly beings" -
This is a wonderful story of forbidden love. You have really done a good job of painting a picture with your words, it is very sad that the love can never be. So, she walks off alone with her secret memories. Good job. Penny
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a very beautiful image and a lovely verse
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Hi Ninque-Aiwe what a little treasure you are, such sweet words, thanks a million, hugs Di
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*Bows*
EEE! Anazing poem! This is so very vivid, and its rhymes are so fluid. To me, this seems very much like a ballad (I read to much fantasy and Medevial literature). No really, it does.
And, congrats! You have won the third Ninque-Aiwe Award for Outstanding Poetry. Yay for you. -
Bravo!! Two thumbs up!!
Awesome what a wonderful place to visit in the minds eye brought to life in imagery, passion, and mystique! I truly enjoyed every line a banquet! -
Good job!
only criticism: "breast" to "breasts"
Good job! -
aw you're such a good poet! So yay for you! i liked the fiary tale quality!
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Hi Yuki thanks a million
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Such a beautiful poem. The detail was just wonderful. Keep up the wonderful work.
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This is an amazing poem. Great, wonderful job. I truly was captivated throughout the whole thing and really did love this poem! Keep up the great work!
Perfectdrummer -
Hi Pride of hades, it was an error in typing was a goof have done edit thanks a million for your lovely critique, hugs
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Thanks a million NurseyPoo. for your great critique, hugs Di
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Hi Rous you have a good point there I goofed have done edit thanks for pointing out.thanks a million, hugs Di
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amazing
wow, that was a beautiful poem, full of pation and imagery without any unnecessary stuffing. i really enjoyed the line "As bathes beneath the night owl's eyes." i love the idea that she is being watched by the animals and by the night, it really brings out what a nymph is to me, and puts her in the center of nature. however, i do agree with rous, and i think that the 'and' and 'as' in the first stanza need to be reversed. other than that, flawless. i enjoyed it very much.
best of luck in you contest. keep penning. -
I love this. It was difficult to decide what world I was really, if any at all. You merged the two very well and used excellent imagery. I'd say you have a winner here.
~~~POO~~~ -
WOW... This is a very beautiful poem... The imagery is AWESOME... Good job...
Hugs
~Beth~ -
Outstanding
Very nice. I like this. It has the ethereal quality one expects from fairy tales. And of course, the ending.
My only crit, the opening stanza
"And Nymph blushes in cool stream
As bathes beneath the night owls eyes"
I am not sure the "As" is the correct word here. Maybe "As she" or even just "And". Just a suggestion.
Still a nice read. Thank you for sharing. -
Hi Slandered Angel, thanks a million for your super critique and applause, hugs Di
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She sits upon the rocky mound,
Diamond drops kiss breast so white,
Runs fingers through her raven hair,
As she thinks now of Love's delight.
i loved these lines. i love reading poetry about mythand legen, and this poem was simply superb. the storyline running through was quaint, and the description given was beautiful. a truly beautiful piece. be proud of it x -
The image of a Nymph and a mortal...is a new twist on fairy telling..you did it well..with a subtlty and grace. I like this..love comes from the heart, and comes in all sizes...sweet flow akin to a babbling brook.....sweet write
Peace
Muddy -
Hi Fluttaby, thanks a million,I love fairies and fantasy creatures they take us away from the harshness of the real world, a bit like a mini holiday, again thank you
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Hi Princess Muse, thanks a million for your super critique coming from you I feel it a great honour, hugs Di
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I think that this is absolutely beautiful, the words you penned, and the way in which they flowed were amazing... I was so enchanted by this. well done
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This is beautifully written...When I saw the title I had to click on it...It caught my eye after one I wrote the other day and I have to say that you truly captured the beauty and emotion so well...Your imagery is stunning and this is most certainly one of those writes you can read several times.
Tory Lin
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Hi Buchan, I am very happy you liked this poem, thanks a million, hugs Di
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Hi sweet thing I live in Italy it's 2 in the afternoon, lol I write my poems quickly they either come that way or get chucked in the bin, I am happy you like this one, I was getting worried that you had gone off my poems lol, thanks a million, hugs Di
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excellent
What a beautiful fairy tale love story.Deep words that made the story flow .Many emotions within the poem ,expressed in wonderful rhyme. Well done .Worthy of another read. Thank you for sharing. -
i always had a thing for wood nymphs ya kno.
i belive thats where they got the term "woody"
hehe.
do you ever sleeep dear? i thought i wrote alot, he.
this is very pretty hon. i like this one alot. you kept it simple and sleek. it reads very well. very easily. not all too wordy or complicated, its a very nice well written verse.
very nice calming imagery.
keep it up sweetie.
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