Slowly I Can Feel You Slipping Away
All My Dreams Fading
Passing Out Of My Reach
Why Would You Go
And Do This To Me?
You Promised Forever
Forever Was A Lie
Now I Wish
I Could Take It All Back
Before I Die
I’d Never Stare Into Your Eyes,
Fall Into Your Arms, When I Needed To Cry
You Wouldn’t Be Here
Things Would Be Fair.
I Can’t Erase The Past
Or Cut Out The Memories
Can’t Take The Pictures Out Of The Frame.
Your Still Here, Deep Inside Of Me
I Can Feel The Poison Spreading
Working It’s Way, Doing It’s Damage
Consuming Me With Hate
Can We Rewind,
Turn Back The Hands Of Time
Make This Work
Work Out All The Quirks
But You’ve Left
And I Can’t Get You Back
Once I Was Happy…
Now You’re the Cause Of My Sadness
Author notes
Written February 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Awesomeness upon awesomeness. Keep it up!
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this is a awsome poem i think its sweet, he obvoisly hurt you and my heart goes out to u i hope u will get/u are over him beccuz hes obviosly not worth it,
awsome poem! -
Ok this is the fisrt poemof yours i have read and let me say i am impressed!! you have tremendous talent!!!!
Now for the bad stuff.. ( i ahte this part)
I think you have agreqat idea here and your imagery is fantastic, but maybe you should work on your metera bit... (Just a tiny bit!!!).. you seem to have trouble making the flow of this poem even ( unlessit was intended that way, if so kick my ass...). The lines are even in some places and then you brea the flow of a thought by contnuing it on the next line... ha sorry bout that but i want to help!!
Other than that this is great piece and i look foward to reading some more!!!!!!
Drea
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Lovely. A sort of ever consistant decay. Dying. The worlds are simply morbid. I love it. A part reminded me of something I wrote a while ago.
"You Promised Forever
Forever Was A Lie" I enjoy that part.
Mine was a little a different, but I think you can identify with it "You said You'd Love me forever, Well that was yesterday." This piece made me smile. Not because of the content but from the twisted simplicty that made this very deep and thought provoking. Keep it up.
Treble -
Wow. This reminds me so much of a past relationship. Except, I want to forget about it, or turn back the hands of time and wish I never accepted him...
Anyway, this was inspirational- I might write a song. ^^; Thanks for blocking my writers block.
Chellie
xoxo -
Perfect epitome
Thus is the fate of that immutable progression of time.
All, even emotion, turns to dust and leaves us only with the hollow memories that we cannot even validate.
We are all thus forced to grope blindly for the past, wondering what it was that led to loss...
Excellent.. It made the think.
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