I look around at all the ones who say they are friends and can feel me pain

I look around at all the ones who say they are friends and can feel mypain
I want it all to let go of me
What did I do to deserve this
Does God have it out to get me
I can try to be better I promise
If you throw one shot at me
I pray that you miss
Every night I sit in my bed
Wondering what I did
How I got here and how I lost
Why did you do this to me
All I want is your acceptance and you give me your hate
You hunt me down instead of gentle kiss
Fine
Now I give up
I lay down my cup
I lay down in the grass
With flowers surrounding me
Take me if you please
And end my misery

Author notes

This really just came out of nowhere and it's really gobbly gook but I'm trying to find and write just the right poem that gets to me.
Written February 21st, 2005