I found out a secret about you today, and I am disgusted,
The closet it has been kept in has never been dusted.
You, you, the only perfection my mind created and lusted...
Now my thoughts of you are tainted and rusted.
How could you pretend to be someone that is so innocent?
When your mind has a hidden compartment that's twisted and bent.
Tears I shed at what I saw,
your secret so dark and raw,
I have trusted you with my entire soul,
Your secret disengages this as a whole.
Just when I thought we were slipping down the mountain top fast,
It's much more slippery now, too slick to allow us to last.
So we continue sliding, with no rocks or branches to grab hold,
Your forbidden secret of sin has frozen my heart, I am so cold.
Your web of deception is my painful tattoo,
I cannot believe that I never even knew.
I cannot take this repulsive hobby in you,
Severing the ties, you and I will be through.
Arianna
Author notes
Don't trust anyone...........trust with the knowledge that it will be broken or you might be betrayed......
Written February 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This was really good obviusly your hurt was great but there are people out there that are worth trusting. I would love to know what the secret is. You have my mind reeling. Hmmmmmmm so for that I will applause you here and below
Mia(applause)
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who is it about
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This horribly sad. I'm sorry for all your pain. I guess it's necessary to see the uglier sides of life in order to appreciate when life is beautiful and the world cannot harm you. Excellent work.
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great job!
god this is great... you did it again. keep it up...
~**Sarah**~ -
Very sad and dark. After a big disappointment, it's hard to trust anyone again, but there are those who we still can confide.
I hope that this poem doesn't be a moirror of your mind right now, and if it is, then I wish you all the best with trusting someone again.
SB -
Arianna -- this is probably the best of your works that I've read. One reason why is because while the anger behind the betrayal that forms the subject matter of the poem is self-evident and drawn out nicely in the rhyme scheme, you (correctly in my mind) left a sense of intrigue in that the actual "crime" that forms the impetus for the poem is never identified. I think that helps the over-all effect. Obviously, I don't know the circumstances that led to this poem, but I do know you write from the heart. So just let me say I feel terrible for you if you are, in fact, in a lot of pain. I am confident you will get through any crisis that presents itself.
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:(
When Someone knows the Secrets of a Poet, and reads the
Pain-Drenched Words written by the poet, The Poem itself
is born into a Painful Tear Soaked Cry...
I'm Sorry, Jersey...
All must pass...
No matter how bad it is...
All must pass...
God Bless you,
St.Michael -
Superb
WOWWWWWWWW your writes keep getting better and better,your amazing writer. I give this Two Thumbs Up and take a bow for this one. Thank you so much for sharing this with my family and I. Keep up the amazing job you do
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"So we continue sliding, with no rocks or branches to grab hold"
How cool is that image?
I didn't think this was bleak. Quite liked the idea of realised sins and hidden secrets.. don't we all have them?
I enjoyed the long sentences too with the ryhme. (It's my favourite style of writing, takes a while but it's worth the wait). The structure of the ryhme was a little out BUT I bet if this is read with the proper pauses and hesitations this is a cool one to listen to
You might like Amalgamations of mine, it's a long sentenced one too
OH and cheers for the amazing comment you left on Lose Yourself, gave me a nice smile
Take care -
perrdy good
that is very bleak, you should alway's trust people some what, not with your entire heart, that way when they betray that trust they won't be betraying all of it, and you won't get as hurt, you need to take the good with the bad, trusting in someone trustworthy would be the good, and that person betraying that trust, the bad, i completly trust my girlfriend, completly and utterly, you should read some of her work, read lady tragedy, that's her, she is pretty good too, you can tell when we started going out, cause before we did she only wrote about dark poem's and stuff, now she writes a lot of love poem's, and if you can't tell i'm just writing a lot right now to get a lot more point's, so just bear with me on this, i realy need them to promote my stuff, and start a new contest, so sorry i am filling up this page with a comment that, dosn't realy mean shit towards the end, but you might understand about it.
Your's truely
Evan.
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