falling upwards
spinning inwards
I breathe my words back in
try to stop time
but you keep moving forward
constant motion
fast-forward emotion
cut to the good parts...
I'm saying goodbye to you
before we meet
let's just skip the whole ordeal
re-open the unbreakable seal...
I kiss your tongue
suck your song
you breathe your melody
straight to my heart
through my bleeding
lips...
fantasies. excuses. imagination; its uses...
rushing into life
it just spits you back out
running and running to get
where you're standing
talking and talking a million
dreams with no mouth
your eyes speak wonders as you sleep...
I don't know who you are but I love you
Let's spin and dance in the eternity of
this second...
dreams play slower than life
counted in coupled heartbeats
minutes, hours, days out the window
once you stop dreaming
you have to make up for lost time
the dreams are left in the dust...
life's too quick to stop and think
fast forward
and rewind
your thoughts -
all you get are false emotions.
Put your hand in mind
and I'll meet you at the ends
of the earth...
You stop time just to see it rush by...
we better go catch up.
Author notes
This is possibly my favorite poem of mine. Its very abstract, random, and all over the place. It goes back and forth between feelings for a love and thoughts on life. This poem is describing the frame of mind that I'm in when in love and and all mixed up. This is what life seems like.... hope you enjoyed it!! I'm really proud about this piece... I love the flow and the imagery and the feelings expressed and the words I used... I was truly inspired when writing this. Its definately one of my most unique pieces. Tell me what you think! 
christina
read:
"to the boy who stared back to me at the deli last Monday "
- Zoot
happier in my memories than in our realities
&
somethings brewing
<3
Written February 20th, 2005
A contest entry
- Give me ur best!! by ProudMomma.
526 points, ended October 17, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rawr I want good love poetry!!!! by Live with a passion.
600 points, ended November 15, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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wow this is very beautiful i really love it so much emotion!! wow keep on penning dear
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Spontaneous write.
Well I can't image why anyone would not like this one as you did put into words very effectively how you felt. I like the abstract way it is done and well it does have spontaneity. -
Wow. Thats all I can say really. I loved the spontaneity of it, and how it dealt with multiple topics.
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good job! I liked it...
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I loved the imagery in this poem which had abstractions and made my heart weaken into sadness. This says a lot for me. Good job!
-Ari
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beautiful.. freewrite here.. abstract is good.. expression is good, your thoughts are who you are, keep it up :-) great job here
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What's great is that even before I read your authors comments, that was what is made me think of...how the world is flipped on it's ear when I'm in love...how I'm abstract and all over the place in streaks of purple and green....lol. This was beautiful, it really was. Great Job and Good Luck in my contest. (Thanks for all of your sweet comments on my ramblings
)
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APPLAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER apologize for the form of your poem. I LOVE IT! It shows your creativity and makes the reader stop and say, "Did I just read what I thought I read??" LOL YOU BETCHA! I like to write like this sometimes to shake up whoever's reading my words--when I read an unusual write, it will stick in my mind a while--so GOOD SHOW! You caught my attention! -
Though your authors comment made you sound like you were apologizing for the style of your poem, I thought you did it un purpose...it fits very well the subject you chose and what you wanted to do with it. Had you wrote it any differently it would have been boring. Trust the way your soul works, because this is really interesting, and says a lot about your creativity.
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i love the free flow stream of concious through out this... and this verse was great
reams play slower than life
counted in coupled heartbeats
minutes, hours, days out the window
once you stop dreaming
you have to make up for lost time
the dreams are left in the dust...
billy -
I like it.
I could read it and found it to be truly unique. I don't get into punctuation unless stuff is run together and not capitolized. I could read it and follow the flow. I like this poem very much. -
the color distracts and you will lose readers.it is abstract and all over the place and by writing it in this manner you are able to relate to the reader where your mind is.that's ok but i don't know if the lack of punctuation works here.it's ok in abstract writings but i don't feel it here.you have done a great job in penning this,but it doen't hold the attention easily.
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The words were a little hard to read because of their color. It was a really good poem but I had to squint to see it. You really made this poem flow really well and it was descriptive too.
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8/10
This is some killer work, really inspiring and overpowering, I especially enjoyed the second stanza, that held some really strong meaning and I really felt inspired by it.
great work (push) -
This was kind of hard to read with the font and background. I liked how in the beginning you used opposites such as "falling upwards" I really liked the abstract thing where you're kind of confused to what is happening but in the end it left me content. Good Luck in the contest.
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agree with your author comments about how its abstract. but i loveddd it, its a really cool idea. it had so many feelings..regret, rushing, everything love encompasses i guess. awesome job. pretty colors too!
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Great style
Great poem. The imagery is awsome.
I love your style. The form also has a great flow to it.
Keep up the awsome writing. -
i liked it but it was hard too read because of your font color but keep it up
~luv
Tabatha
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1 - 18 of 18
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