It's not easy to explain
Why anyone would want to harm themselves
Maybe to feel as if they are alive
Maybe to feel the pain to make sure they can feel
It could be to release pain or anger
It could be to get away from reality
I could be just to see the blood
And it could be for no reason at all
I've done it once for all of the above
I've cut to feel, to breathe, to be calm
I've done it desperately to feel alive
To see the blood or for no reason
The feeling I got was very wonderful
However, it isn't worth the tears I have to see
When I used to cut for any reason at all
I went into a state of interest and pondering
I watched the blade run over my skin
I liked the feeling and I watched the blood form
It was like flowers growing from the ground
I actually wrote a poem like that
The blood form in little dots and would spread
I'd watch it silently, taste it and wipe it off
I'd do it again and again
Enjoying the calming feeling it gave me
It gave me a head rush from the pain and
I could just lay back on the wall and enjoy it
I had such a peace of mind and contemplation
Came to me so easily as I ran that blade across my skin
Maybe that might explain it a little,
But there are many reasons why one would harm tender flesh
These are but a few reasons why one would turn to a blade
These are just my experiences and I don't encourage it
It is dangerous and unhealthy; it can take your life
Think twice before you get into the rush
Before it's too late
Author notes
I don't cut to die, I cut to know I'm alive
I chose this option because I am most familiar with it, since I am a recovering cutter and probably could explain it pretty well. Cutting is a drug and it is unhealthy. These are just a few things that might drive one to injure, or what may go through one's mind.
Don't cut. Seriously. Ever.
Written February 19th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Help Me Understand by Grieving-Willow.
300 points, ended March 26, 2005, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I know what you mean... cutting to feel alive, to see the blood, to know that you are still human and do still have feelings... I've cut for all the same reasons that you have... Well done, congrats on bronze. xxx
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Thank you for your kind words. I've went through most if not all of these phases and I understand them quite well. I hope you are able to fight the cravings. It is hard sometimes, but it is possible.
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hey, this is a really good poem here. i can relate to it so well since i am a cutter myself. i know what you mean though about it being a drug, it's like an addiction that you can't stop, and must try really hard to. i'm on the verge of stopping now, and ya, i really enjoyed reading this. great job!
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Thank you so much for writing this, as you know I struggle with cutting and I wish I could say that I'm a recovering cutter too, and I know that I can be, but I guess I just don't want it strongly enough. It is a drug, it is unhealthy and I wish this upon no one, its hard to quit once you start, thank you for expressing this I understood every sentence
---Sara
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This bring to mind images I don't tend to like to think about, but that means your ppoem was good. I like Think more but still, you did a good here as well.
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I have to admit that this really isn't my best. Others I have posted here prior to this one are much better written, though at least a year or two old. They are called Cutting and Think, if you'd like to take a look. I still post on fictionpress regularly, if I have something to post there and I am happy to see you here as well, as I do remember you. Thank you for your comment and compliments as they are much appreciated.
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why hello there, i see i'm not the only fictionpress poet who also posts on allpoetry as well... though i'm forever loyal to fictionpress lol, allpoetry is just for the contests in my eyes, because they are amusing. I've read much of your poetry on fp, and admire your style- you write with emotion and beauty. This poem is not your best, but it does explain some of the reasons people selfharm.
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coughs typos
I'd do it again and agian
Came to me so easily as I ran that blad across my skin
Wonderful poem my wonderful sister
I love you and I'm here if you ever need to talk
~Angel
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