Unhappy on the inside
I can no longer hide
Depression has consumed me
I feel as if I dont belong
And never will.
I'm living a life
That I feel I dont deserve
The pain goes away
For a month or so
But it always comes back to haunt me
The pain will never will me alone
THe mental scars I push away
Come up to the surface
Out of their hiding place.
Proving that they are the controller
I lie to everyone
And pretend it doesn't bother me
But if it didn't
Why would I wear long sleeves
And jelly braclets?
To hide the scars
I carved into my arm
To deal with the pain
I try to ignore
And tell myself
Everything will be okay
Even though I know
I will never be.
Author notes
Fade to black but the memory remains
Written February 19th, 2005
A contest entry
- †...Fade To Black But The Memory Remains...† by Jess-xx.
320 points, ended April 14, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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this was really good, i loved it. i can relate to this in so many ways, i've cut before, but i don't cut my arms so people can see it's things like my thighs and everything you know? i pretend to be this lil happy girl never has anything wrong always that smile on my face, but when i come home i'm not like that at all, i don't hardly ever smile, or anything i'm just depressed.. it's hard sometimes and like you said the pain leaves for about a month or so and then it comes back.. it always does. and this was an amazing write i loved it so much,great use of visuals and the flow was great too. thank you for entering this into my contest. -heather
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Thanx and i will
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OMG .. i love this. it is so the truth! u rock and u put it out there ... read my column "Cutting, far from Suicide" i think you will enjoy it. loves
Jess
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