High School Can -- Slut Machine by lordoftherings at All poetry

~by Gregg Rowe~

She winks and states she loves to blow
Two hills slut, this we know!
High school can -- performs her show--
Teen-age boys semen flows.

I glance upon this beauty fair--
Wonder how could she dare!?
Family name -- she proudly bares,
At this age – does not care:

From high school can – slut machine --
Not thinking – pregnancy!
From "let me blow you" – she became
Her downfall to her fame:

A devoted wife – shotgun bride:
Falling family pride –
Married money and took a ride --
Walks with her head held high.

Can blow the boys and buy the town --
No longer school can clown!
Soiree dress – a Faberge gown
Slut queen has earned her crown!

Author notes

I am practicing my rhyming and meter (it is lines of four feet/three feet with a mono rhyme scheme per quantrain) and I was sitting at the Concordia University bar with a table full of testosterone males and this ditty started to come out as we conversed...most of it was written that evening with the critics from my pals…it was Valentine's Day Evening!!!
Written February 14th, 2005

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What did you think

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

By me, right now

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DeathWhisper
February 22, 2005
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I liked it. it's funny,kinda insulting to me,cuz I used to be that way,but NO longer,and I regret it,but ya,cool.
Jay Is Magic
February 21, 2005
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I HEART PALINDROMES
I absolutely hated and was dis... giggles I can't keep up that charade! Teenage boys semen flows?! Hahahaha. The whole thing was filled to the brim of hilarity, and spurred a true comment from myself. Lucky lucky.
Peridot-eyes
February 19, 2005
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that is a awsome write. thats most girls in high school. keep up the good work
invested
February 19, 2005
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It has been a long time since I have read anything by you, I was pleased to see this, as I was thinking the other day I should read something by lordoftherings and then forgot.
The rhymes and everything else flow of the gonue with excellence that only those skilled at form and rhyme can create, instead of the mess and jumble most seek.
The plotline was wonderful anf thre whole thing had me cracking up, I think we all know the story of the highschool giurl that loves to blow for attention, just the perfect thing to write about Valentine's day night too, that adds a little bit.
Good work
Miss Faerie
February 19, 2005
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Hahahahahaha this was bloody well written. It made me laugh. I think your practicing your rhyming meter is going to make a lot of people laugh, lol.
OmniscientNDumb
February 19, 2005
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Fricken' awesomely coolnees and funny!
this was very.... interesting. funnily interesting. in fact, i may go as far as saying it was hilarious. i am on my end of the internet laughing my motherfuckin' ass off here. i am not familiar with this rhyme scheme, so I couldn't find any issues.. er... problems. (side note o self, problems are for everything but what you have Elisiah!) sorry, now i am caught rambling, in short, read my verdict if you can't understand what I am attempting to write. because I can tell you, i do not even know what I am writing right now,
spirit62
February 19, 2005
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Great Job
Ahhh -- very well put together with some friendly thoughts....
Neef Kykmytros
February 19, 2005
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That is the way to go. Practice and practice.

ANd not a bad poem either.

Paraphrasing Gary Player: "The more I practice, the luckier I get."
February 19, 2005
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OMG! That's my best friend from uni! Good poem, it brought back memories...
Always bite back,
The Vampyre
Mark Rickerby
February 19, 2005
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The subject sucks but the poem doesn't
Well, you can't see she wasn't talented! lol I think I knew the same girl in high school. There's one on every campus. Frustrated oral stage, I suppose.

Thanks for the laughs. I needed 'em.

Mark
Ime
February 19, 2005
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Thumbs Up
Pretty great.. one critique tho, I thought that some of the stuff seemed very forcibly rhyming. You know words that didn't quite make sense where they were placed, but made it rhyme. I am very tired so I can't point out any examples at this moment but if you look over the poem you will see what I mean. Great write tho and it still definitely deserves an applause.

~RoberT
ficklefeather
February 19, 2005
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Lovely. And flowed it did, indeed. Not just the semen, I mean, your words, too. They're lovely. I like how the subtlety links up the whole thing; something raw and erotic with still a shade of being detached. Well done!
ChallenginFenix
February 19, 2005
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cute
This is a pretty cute little ditty you've written. Man, I've known a lot of girls like that. Well, I think you did a great job, and thank you for sharing. This definitly gets a thumbs up from me.
~Amerita
Am8ur
February 19, 2005
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this was very interesting. not at all what i expected t read when i clicked on it. i had a little giggle at the ending. great job here. keep it up. i liked the imagery, it went well with the piece. the flow was really good also. well i can't wait to see what yo come out with next. Til
- jessie dawn -
February 19, 2005
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great
Hmmm. This was quite interesting and humorous.. Good job.. It made me laugh! Thanks )

Jessie
shattered inoccents
February 19, 2005
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funny
funny with a nice flow loved the rhyme and I know a lot of sluts who got there crowns in highschool
Luciferschild
February 19, 2005
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this is a very good rhyming poem but i guess thats because you decided to get technical with it which i still dont know how to do
xsaveyourherox
February 19, 2005
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very interesting. it had a nice flow to it and it was humorous. good write, keep it up