How did you have the courage to live
in a world of malicious tones where
everyone's truth was your lie, where
everyday brought only false hopes,
where every gaze into a crystal ball
saw only black. Where even God
himself was silent,
everyday.
When every hope for a miracle was
a trick of the imagination, and a
circus act-an astounding feat by
a religious ring master skilled in
magic of vanishing money and dreams.
When every song of freedom was sung
in a sardonic sarcastic tone, and
every refrain in a mocking minor key.
Somewhere down the road there will be
an answer. somewhere down the road
and the answer never came.
Now you sit in a museum for living
breathing dead people with glazed
hallow eyes, a plastic genuine smile
and a thankful heart with a stare
that says life is good, but a stiff
catatonic body that knows the truth.
All spirit long broken down, left only
with your essence: Courage.
The quality that could not be destroyed.
Author notes
If this poem doesn't contain anger, rage, and a tear drop stain, directed at every conceivable 'socially acceptable' evil of society one can imagine, NONE of my poems do- my hope to you is that you can be encouraged by another person's suffering- and realize that no matter what the world does to you, it can not destroy you- you will hang on even in the last moments.
Option 4. Many people end up in a dystopia (the Nursing Home), but the poem is about the dystopia of the world we live in that put her there. Our world squeezes out the good til all that's left of it is what it can not kill: it's essence.
A contest entry
- My Favourite Bed Time Lie... by Friday.
600 points, ended July 2, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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this is a STAND UP APPLAUD
this had it all
the message the tears the great grammer
and your use of hollow i did understand
this poem was compassion
it was onethat i shall forever love
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Well written,good usage of grammar and alliteration and description.Emotion keenly felt.Two suggestions to tentatively proffer "hallow eyes" perhaps,perhaps instead "hollow eyes?" Also,by leaving a space between the last line of the poem and the poem page posted it enables the reader to linger longer on the poem instead of reading immediately re the contest,perhaps you may like to consider that for future presentation?
I enjoyed this piece for the level of it's understanding ,appreciation and validation of the Mother who has had such a hard life,it was indeed touching.Congratulations on the trophy awarded but the ultimate trophy is your understanding.Kudos.
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Hi Yevette, just wanted to say that the reason I used hallow eyes instead of hollow, is because I wanted to give the illusion of hollow and hallow at the same time (holiness and despair). But I will take your other suggestion.
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Thankyou,I understand the reference to hallow now,I often use such phraseology myself to denote the same
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Thank you. I think I will take your suggestions!
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Who said you were not a poet? This is one hellova kick in the gut...
About how poorly we honor our elders...
About how afraid we are of the worm at the core of the apple...
How we have taken all dignity out of dying by making the world such a safe place...
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Thank you poet. Not only for the poem itself but for your kind words in your notes. Thanks again.
~Oka/KC -
This is a distopia with the hint of hope. Very interesting.
I adored the line "somewhere down the road and the answer never came."
It was wonderful to see your use of aliteration, subtle but brilliant. Longer than I would have liked but I'm glad it was the length it was, it worked well. Thank you for adding this, I really enjoyed reading it. -
This is true poetry. I read this and I thought,How I can I write a poem like this.This was true an work of art. I had never read this one before. This was amazing.This poem here is a gold tropy winner.If you re enter it in another contest. It definitely gold.The phases you had here were marvelous and well expressed. Brillant job. and on top of that it was from the heart.If I had hosted a contest it would be gold without a doubt.Sometime it is hard in this world. Sometimes putting people first ends in your death or it seems that it doesnt pay.We have to remember that God will repay us.If we lose faith in this. we have no faith. Because this world gives us none.Just think Jesus died for us. He healed the sick,cured the lame and the dead. What was his punishment for this. They killed him.The son of god.But his death served a purpose.Our death will to. because god will say that person really tried and I will reward him.When times got hard, he did the right thing.We all have problems and hard times. But we have to belive in ourselves and god.great write and this pure gold.
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Hi Hose, just wanted to tell you I syumbled across this comment you wrote, and the most amazing time that I needed to be reminded of this. I love that you are so stark- 'this world gives us no hope' - but then you surround it with even greater hope! Thank you!!!
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Hi Hose. Thanks for your comment. I wrote this out of anger, hurt, respect and deep love for my mother when I found out my brothers and sisters put my mother in a nursing home.
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I guess in a way I was once deeply altruistic. I truly cared more for the welfare of others than myself. When I was in Rehab, a few 24 hours ago, I was asked to create a list of people that were important in my life. My name was number nine on the list, just above my dog's name. I have since learned that if I make my self last, so are all the others I claim to love. 'Love thyself first' is now my understanding of life and living. The only being that is above me is an all knowing, and loving God that I comprehend. Some don't.
Your poem is exceptional. It reads as a very emotional, and exasperated litany of something you could never really understand but grew to respect. Excellent musing.
I think the "Mother Teresas" you speak of in your author's comments take no issue with their demise, and smile unto death for a job they know was well done. I wonder where we'd be in a world in which they never sojourned. A very heart-wrenching, and thought-inducing work here poet.
Yes, I say; YOU ARE A POET!
Much Love & Many Blessings ♥
Renee
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Hi I left this comment before- but I think I replied to the wrong comment, lol! Anway I just wanted to say I love the pic of you! You look way younger than I imagined you to be, and as spunky as your personality is! Duana
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this was a cool poem. im not sure i quiet understood it all but i like to return the favor when i get comments and this was the poem that popped up
good write
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Thank you for featuring this piece. I would have been sorry to miss it! Your descriptions are extremely vivid and poetic! I think the entire peom is a wonderful tribute, but my favorite lines are "everyone's truth was your lie", "every gaze into a crystal ball saw only black", and "a museum for living breathing old people, with glazed hallow eyes, a plastic genuine smile..." You did a great job of summing up the poem and reinforcing its theme with your last line: "left only with your essence: Courage. The quality that could not be destroyed". A FABULOUS write! It's sad in terms of subject matter, but very inspiring. Thanks again for the very enjoyable read.
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Beautiful. I love it. The descriptions and details of life gone wrong (and right at times) are excellent. Even though it is not straightfowardly written, I read between the lines and pulled great depth from the work. It sounds like the bond between your mother and yourself has become strong over the years; great work. I enjoyed reading this very much, Duana.
Best Wishes
Take care,
-->aref -
Wow, this is really good.. I like it.. Great write.
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well no it WAS from her view- completely, from my voice. But the last stanza was MY view of her.
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great
Very nice! I loved it! True, it wasnt from her view persay, but it ended that way! So it still counts! Hahahah! Great write! I loved it! Keep it up and thanks for your entry! -
well I was trying to write in in the way I imagined my MOTHER must have seen the world- kind of like empathizing with her, and feeding it back to her...so she knows I finally understood what she had gone through and that I appreciate her for it.
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You've been busy, haven't you! Wow, so much to read. Even though this is has a sad tone to it (until the end), I love the lines you used like "When every song of freedom was sung in a sardonic sarcastic tone" It says so much about the way you are feeling at the time that you write it to see the world in such a way. Great, great piece.
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well some good stuff here and i know it is personal to you but i think you should have saved the question till the end of the poem. a lot of this is in "proper" sentances and in parts it reads like prose...this could work very well as a letter to your mother
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very sad tone to it...i see racism in there. sexism. very powerful. nicely penned. was worth the read.
Blu -
I love this piece, It's really effective and it spoke to me. I'm loving the analogy "Now you sit in a museum for living
breathing old people" It's pure genius! Also very visual. All in all, a great poem!
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