Vicious pattern!
Oh, how it mocks me!
Daily, I berate myself
‘So stupid! So naïve!’
Wondering all the time
How I could ever be
Loved in that way
And it’s no time at all
Before I’ve realized
It’s all a farce
Not real
No-siree-Bob, it ain’t
It’s never real.
Why did I think
How could I ever think
It would be different
This time?
What’s three years?
Doesn’t mean anything at all
All the time
Just wasted---
Wasted effort
Wasted time
Wasted heart
Wasted mind
Wasted all of me
On him.
Author notes
I think I might just be being a silly, melodramatic, drama queen, but it's the way I'm feeling tonight even if it probably won't be the way I feel tomorrow night. [PS. This is also part of a larger, angstier rant over on my livejournal. For full context, go read that.]
Written February 17th, 2005
Adding your comment: