-I-
In a hut, 'neath an African sky,
A young girl is preparing to die;
She dies all alone,
She's just skin and bone.
"What a shame!" the world's crocodiles cry.
-II-
To conquer disease it takes money
(Ask any laboratory bunny),
But the drug cartels say
"We can't give cures away".
Don't you think that's really quite funny?
-III-
And, my friends, that's just an example,
An insignificant wee sample
Of illness and deaths,
Of children's last breaths,
Of suffering too awful, too ample.
Author notes
More limericks available....
1] If you are feeling frivolous, go to allpoetry.com/poem/1371005
but
2] if you are feeling serious, go to
allpoetry.com/poem/1103025 .
Written February 16th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark Poetry Welcomed Here by Girl In A Box.
300 points, ended June 27, 2005, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Red Nose Day - Poems For Comic Relief by Death of the Author.
610 points, ended March 27, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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No. I don't.
Funny is not at all the word I'd choose. You've actually done a rather good job with this, but I do not like the final few lines. It seems as though "funny" is only there to finish out the rhyme scheme and it's remarkably out of place.
Congrats on the two bronze trophies, but this one has no shot here. I have far too many really good entries and far too few trophies.
Good luck in the next contest.
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"Funny" in English also means "peculiar" as well as "amusing". Maybe that usage is unknown in the US.
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You misunderstood me ...
this is actually quite good. I just think you should move stanza 3 to precede 2. The entire thing would be far stronger, and work far better if stanza two were the final stanza.
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That's a very good suggestion. And I shall adopt it. Thank you.
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I feel so sorry for those who have AID's but what can they do... It's a nightmare really, but sometimes it's better to take the piss than ignore... Those that are down to earth can take the jokes and respect that they take the piss out of us in their own way as well.
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You know, I seriously underestimated this when I read it the first time.... but as always, on judging, you read throughly and there's always something in the bunch which surprises.
The form which you chose was interesting to say the least and I'm still not sure what it lends to what you're trying to say. It seems almost comical but perhaps that's the point- an actual demonstration (although somewhat cynical) of the situation.
I feel as though very few people know just how abhorrent the conduct of some pharma companies is in places such as Africa. This will be a good nudge to get them to research further.
~Faded -
I almost cried reading this... The first one reminded me of my uncle before he died. Good luck in my contest.
+Sadien+ -
Good job with this one, Edna. I especially liked the first stanza. Methinks that our big drug companies do have the cures we need for such diseases as AIDS and Cancer; they just don't want to share for fear that they might go out of business and no longer make money!
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Wow, I really like tis. It has a very good point. Limricks are very fun to read and write. You used this style to your advantage. Amazingly powerful write. You make the reader think about the topic you covered. Excellent job. Thanks for entering the contes. Good luck!
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Your poem has a strong and much needed message and I appreciate you for using this form to increase awareness.
Thanks for entering.
Del -
great ability here)
really, really good... I didn't know you wanted that serious of limericks..but the crocodile..that made me kind of cringe and think of C.S.I..and..ummm..(shaking her head..) -
Beautiful poem I liked it a lot. Short, but it had a lot of meaning packed into each one of your words. I truly did enjoy reading it. Nice rhyming job. A little unconventional, but I love unconventional! Good job!
Perfectdrummer -
i like this poem. i like where it is going. it is a nice poem. keep writing.
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Wow. One word Wow.
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wonderful.
i write dark poems,and it takes alot to get to me,however this poem has brought a tear to my eye and i have enjoyed reading it. -
I'm currently bedridden due to AIDS. The last stanza makes me laugh in disgust because I can be the first to admit that it is exactly like that EVERYWHERE. If you can't pay your bills, you die. There is no fucking humanity in this world.
A great write!! -
You really hit a chord with these lymircs....especially as Bush has just been declared AID charitis best friend
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I'm adding you to my favorites, Edna Sweetlove! I love these poems! It is something (AIDS) that we all need to care about. I especially loved how you referred to the real drug cartels-the pharmaceutical companies. [I am a Libertarian, and believe strongly in a true laissez-faire (live and let live) system, without corporate welfare (or private welfare) and I know that the main reason narcotics are illegal today is is to pretty much bolster a monopoly behind the pharmaceutical companies for drugs across the board. Most people think I'm nuts, but I believe in controlled substances. And while I don't believe that narcotics are good, I know full well (and alcohol prohibition proved this point) that when you ban something as a government, you don't make it go away, you just surrender any and all potential control over that thing over to the black market. While I wish for a world without drugs like that in it, I know that the way the system works right now, it is much easier for a minor under the age of eight-teen to buy any illegal narcotic (especially needle drugs!) on the black market cheap, than it is for them to buy a pack of cigarettes, beer, or even set foot in a bar! If narcotics were also controlled substances, our government would significantly reduce the spread of HIV-AIDS through the sharing of needles (and the rapes that take place in our now over-crowded prisons; overcrowded because of the war on drugs!), because there would be so many safety rules and regulations written into law along with it, not to mention, pharmaceutical companies would not be legally bound from testing all kinds of drugs for their potential healing qualities, and there are many!] Your writing really struck a chord in me! (whether you agree with my views or not!) Keep it up!
Edited on Feb 20, 1:22 p.m. because 'correct a punctuation mistake'. -
yes, and the last two lines of the Limerick chain, powerful!
all too true and so Important and that you took this form, and took this most serious of issues and with passion and your gifts as a poet, oh, what a work, I think that you've captured much and within this form and in this way, Bravo and yes, this is one Important Piece, Thank You, Edna Sweetlove and Best to you in the contest and all you do...
Thank You and Hopefully this may waken a few and remind us all of this great Tragedy that could be at the least helped, if, well...if only indeed the Rx Companies and more took a good, hard look and began to do more and more...It will take a lot of work, but the worth, dear god, the worth...so many, already have died and you have me again, well, simply...
Grateful for this important poetic plea and given much within this,
michele -
hey this is quite good. I enjoyed it.
keep writing
sorry i didnt have any thing else to say on it!
jade -
Hmmm... This is not against your poem, as you were following contest rules- but a limerick by nature is not a serious form. It's difficult to write a serious subject in this form- to you, I give applause. You did well.
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I hope these recieve the recognition they deserve. It seems that people would rather make money than help those in need. It makes the heart ache. You have expressed yourself very well.
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nice write
I like these limericks. They were very serious but very informational. Great job!
XOXO
~laura -
Very serious limerick here. A loud message each of us need to heed. Excellent work...sad and factual.
S♥m
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