Chocolates,
Roses,
And Diamonds,
Are all gifts for today
But the Best gifts I get,
Are simple things,
The words you say,
To tell me,
Just how much you care,
You holding me,
Or playing with my hair,
Of little things,
I could never get enough,
They are life,
Even tho there are days,
Life is tough,
Money,
Gifts,
And Surprises,
Others can keep for them,
I only need your love,
In my heart,
Like diamonds in a box,
Roses their vase,
My most precious treasure,
Is your love,
Your touch on my skin,
My souls chocolate,
You whisper words so sweet,
Kisses so pure,
That is my Valentine,
Worth all we endure.
Author notes
This is not very good it is just random thoughts that i jotted down But we will see if you all like it lol
Written February 14th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Bravo!
Wonderful use of short rhymes (which some folks cannot do) excellent poem. Bravo! -
Thanks as always Drk I think you are too kind toodles niki
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Niki, another outstanding write from you, and I hope that the someone special it was written for enjoyed this Valentine's tribute.
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Thank you JoRoDo1122 I am glad you like it
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Thank you also I did not think it would be read so quickly lol but i am glad you like it Niki
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draft
i agree with your comment - it is not good at all - it does read like random thoughts. it is an idea for a poem, or at best a first draft. others on this board will try to kid you into thinking that what you have written is good and worthwhile...but listen to your inner self and work harder at your poetry. the benefits will be enormous.
i only say these things because you asked for a critical review. i would like to encourage you to read good poetry and then you will learn how to write better. -
Thank you I am glad you liked it Niki
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great
ooh I liked this hehe you captured my attention from the beginning with the lines that say "But the Best gifts I get,
Are simple things,
The words you say,
To tell me,"
and so on, and then in the end, the last few lines really sum up what the message is and the poem is trying to say. I liked it, it was cute. Keep up the great work, I look forward to others by ya. do me a favor and check out my work sometime, Id appreciate it.. happy valentines day! Jordan* -
It may be disorganized... but not everything has to be organized. It got your point across about V-Day! I hope you had a wonderful one.
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Well it may seem very random, but its definately all true. When you're in love, its not the presents or the huge dinners- its everything you listed here. I loved the form and the symbolism!
-poetaster-
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