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Whistle

I sing
this
sad little tune
to pass
away
the time.

And when
I
sing
this tune
I get
caught up
in rhyme.

Sad little child sitting on the street corner
waiting for the bus to come and take him.

Rainclouds coming on, but his will is strong,
he still waits there,
always waiting,
rain starts falling,
coat pulls tight.

As the cars go rumbling by, down on the road,
the rain keeps falling down amidst the trees.
Images keep flying past in front of him,
taunting him with emotions, from his memories.

Slowly now, he pulls up to his feet.
Looking to the street light, signal blaring red.
Where's the bus now, come to take him home?
Drops are getting heavier, bearing on his head.

Soon he hears the wind blow, hauntingly it moves.
Making such a melody, he shivers in the cold.
Traffic light starts changing, clouds are breaking up,
beams of light start shining down in tiny rays of gold.

Soon the bus, it pulls up, and waits now for the boy.
The rain has ceased its falling, as the wind dies down.
But still the drops are streaking down his darkened face,
and the wind's tune echoes back, from his tiny frown.

...so when
I'm
feeling
lonely.

Or even
kind of
sad.

I think back
to
that day
when I
waited all alone.

And when the rain
it cleared up.
My tears kept
falling down.

And the tune
I heard
upon
the wind
kept going on.

I shed a tiny tear, and I bow my head down low.
Whistling this sad little tune...

Author notes

...just a personal little... tune... I'm sad.  And to top it off, I stayed home all day.  Things haven't turned out right and it reminds me... ...and how I hum and whistle to myself when I'm alone.  -Dan
Written February 14th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • empire of dirt
    June 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was lovely, the way you told a story about something so small, a tune, a whistle on a sad day. A sad write is usually more beautiful to my eyes than a happy one, so write on and screw what ecrivain said.


  • Danteku
    March 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Heh... Cheering Section? That's a funny way to put it...

  • ecrivain01
    March 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    not bad

    Yes. It's sad. Your cheering section has already passed their judgement, so I'll just say I hope you learn how to be happy before life passes you by.

  • gregdov
    February 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i liked the concise part alot better then where it widened out

  • XTwilightDreamerX
    February 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad...it almost made me cry...did this really happen to you?im so sorry!see now im crying great see what you did?im jus kiddin. but it is really sad!!!but if you ever feel lonely, remember this, im alwaz here for you...if you ever need to talk to anyone ill be here waiting!
    ~rachelle

  • chesal14
    February 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    Aww this is such a cute poem..sad..but i like it!!!..You did a very good job!!!..Keep it up!~..Chessy!

  • IhopeUchokeNdie
    February 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    hey man this was great. i loved how it went from sad to happy. then again its kinda sad all the way through. memories are like wounds that will never heal...the aching never ceases and the people and places never forgotten. Hope you feel better.
    <3-lil princess-<3


  • blondeoverblue
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Dan you always write with such an open heart and show such honesty that your words can't help but have an effect that lasts much longer than it takes to merely read what has been written.

    This piece opens so simply with a tune,that conjures a memory with its rhythm and we are carried along with the images that follow. The lonely child with only his own memories for company taking solace in his own tune. And as he becomes you, his tune becomes your tune and we can hear it all the more clearly through the child and the man. One and the same, still searching for that comfort, still listening.

    Sorry that you're feeling down Dan

    Kat xxx


  • Gothic Cross
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    oh poor dan you're not alone. you always have friends that are always there for you. like me for instance. so don't be sad
    ~~~~~~~joei

  • vampchik66613
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    All I can say is oops...and sorry. I know I'm a fuck up and that I play with your emotions...just don't listen to me then...it would be easier.


  • MoonLitStars
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    YAYAY i loved this good job man love it


  • intimah-01
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I sing
    this
    sad little tune
    to pass
    away
    the time.

    I love those lines cos it means comfort to me...why think of anything else and be depress if we can just whistle and ease the burden...nice write...keep penning!!

  • evil sara
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i can hear the tune as i read...what an interesting tune it is. very unpredictable and in its own way very beautiful but sad.


  • SilentEmpySoul
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Raw emotion at it's finest. I love to read poems that really say something about the writer... and there past. I love looking in through this little window that you've created. I love knowing that someone so long ago was afraid of being alone and admits it. It turns out good but you still remember but you embraced! I love it

  • TooRainbow silver member
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is one of the most tender and honest pieces I have read in some time. It touched me way down deep. It's sad, but sort of peaceful at the same time--not in a hopeful way, but in an accepting way. Very well written! Thanks for sharing this with us. I LOVE it!


  • Sweet Intoxication
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Moving

    Wow, the begining and end was perfect..just perfect I really enjoyed this. It's sad, which is what I was looking for. I give it two thumbs up (lol)! But really superb job


  • Gothic Knight
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Good poem bro ill talk to you later you seem out of it man cheer up


  • February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like how this is sad at the beginning but then seems more hopful towards the end. I like hopeful poems. I also really like how it is structured. The short lines at the beginning pulled me in, and the longer ones in the middle kept me interestede and confused to a certain point. Great job on this one.


  • UtopianEyes
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this, it was depressing at first but added hope towards the end. I always love poems that give you hope at the end of a depressing situation. Like the light at the end of the tunnel. Very well done!


  • artis
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    we wait sometimes for so long to escape from one place to another, when all we need to do is look insidfe ourselves and hum a little tune and recall the times we came close to escaping but found shelter in our souls....artis


  • February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply





  • Araina
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    SAD! this poem made me want to hug you.. seriously Great write, overall depressing. The imagery and detail were wonderfully done.

  • nc-junebaby89
    February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like this line right here:
    "Slowly now, he pulls up to his feet.
    Looking to the street light, signal blaring red.
    Where's the bus now, come to take him home?
    Drops are getting heavier, bearing on his head."
    Nice job and very descriptive! Way to go! Keep on writing!!!!


  • February 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow dan this is really good. keep writing. love jen

1 - 24 of 24