Neurotically
infesting my mind
thoughts of you
i can't leave behind
you broke my heart
and killed my soul
My emotions are dead
my heart black as coal
beating my head
against the wall
hard as i can
the blood starts to fall
You left me here
now watch me die
you were the poisoned apple
of my eye
Author notes
Written February 14th, 2005
A contest entry
- Dark Love Poem by Sun Shower.
300 points, ended February 21, 2005, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is an awesome write.. I love the end
"you were the poisoned apple
of my eye"
That is one great line!! Congrats on the trophy for this one.. You deserved it..
~Krys~
-
...
making ur self bleed is bad -
I don't know, im haveing a serious writers block.
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yeah, love can suck sometimes. by the way, when are you going to come out with some more poetry?
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im spending points for this one!!!!!
i love it greatly
flows wonderfully
great imagery
"My emotions are dead
my heart black as coal
beating my head
against the wall
hard as i can
the blood starts to fall
You left me here
now watch me die
you were the poisoned apple
of my eye"
sweetness i luv it
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this is awesome, i'm a big fan of bitter love poems, and this is a great example of one....i love the ending, and i can completely relate with this at this time in my life, so rock on...
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as the poision coruses through your viens, think of the fates, cruley twiriling the one that hrt you, about like a spinning top. Not letting go, never till that soul is theirs. the fates have a unusuall way of making others pay for their wrong doings. well done sweetheart, and you are the one that will go further than i with writing.
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Good imagery, and it flowed nicely. I liked it. Good job...
~JASMINE -
^_^ ooh..
I love how it ended, it just closed together so smoothly. Very nicely done. I wasn't sure how the rhyme scheme was supposed to go though...
Kati. xo -
Wonderful use of pain and emotiosn out into words. I relate to this like i relate to alot beacuse right now love is the poison in my life right now and im trying to clenze it from my body which is hard to do. you are a awsome poet and i wish you luck with everything you do. And im so adding you to my Favs.
Dawn Asharia -
Good write. Your rhyming was good and the theme was something people can relate with. Girls can suck sometimes but oh well. Good write and keep up the good work.
Jason -
You already know how I feel about this poem
Great Write... Good Luck
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Wicked awsome poem you have mad talent and loved your poem!
-Tori -
wow... that's all i can say is wow... you really got to the meaning of this poem... awesome... great job
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Wow... This is awesome... Sounds like a song... Great Write Beautiful poem
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this is a wicked ass poem!you really do like to decribe your heart and soul dont you?well your very talented and i love your poetry!i put you on my faves if you dont mind! but if this has really happened to you im very sorry, its a sad poem but you seem like a strong man! hold on strong okies!
~rachelle
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