I despise the corners
where she lies
folded like a rose
her laces wrapped
like little words
just below her knees
as the white light streams
across the stage
where the red is reserved
for her alone
when the music sighs.
nothing but the stance remains
and she unwinds
the angels whirling
in her eyes
as the dream descends
following the pale light
as if the dove
she reaches for were white
instead of just a bit of colored light.
Author notes
for St. Valentine's Day, Lovers, Mothers, daughters and dreamers..
From an image borrowed from the esteemed Worm.
Written February 12th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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A Portrait!
A well painted portrait filled with imagery. I would not change anything.
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this is really pretty, you've strung the words together well. it reads nicely. but im just not feeling it. i don't know why, but for me it's just pretty words. but they are so very pretty
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really like this. The words create such beautiful pictures. your writing is truly enchanting.
thank you for sharing this piece with us all.
Keep writing,
Holly.
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This is really pretty, and I liked it. I always like reading poems about dancing and such. The part about angels seems out of place, though, because the rest of it seems so worldly, and the angels are more divine.
Anyways, liked reading it.
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See I knew you had a Valentine's Day poem.
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Hi, I had the feeling I had read this before, itseemed very familiar, lovely write, when we are in love we are inspired,lol, all the best, loved it,Di
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this is a realy good poem. i like your use of words they really appeal to the reader and they help to captue them into your poem...and keeps them wanting more this is a really good write ~Lydia
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Intriguing. I love your opening lines:
"I despise the corners
where she lies
folded like a rose"
They flow so easily, and give you an interesting picture, especially since your word "despise" darkens the image. That beginning must be my favourite part, but overall it is beautiful.
-Allura
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a good piece of poetry here, a nice flow and rhytm to your poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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this is just amazing,
you couldn't have done better if you tried.
what a gorgeous write
what a very beautiful poem you have shared with us
the is a great write,
i haven't read anything this good in a while.great job, you write is outstanding.
i really enjoyed it a lot.
joyce
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I'm trying to remember if I remember anything at all from February of 2005 - I suppose I could look up my own work to help jog the memory. It is so Lute to post something, to promote it some many months later, then to have someone else promote it again more months after that. Makes me wonder if Lute is just Lute or if Lute has alteregos that promote himself. He is a very otherpromoted person. Not that he doesn't deserve to be.
Well, that aside.... This sweet personal poem makes me think of perhaps a daughter. I don't know if you have one, but there's a sentiment in this, a fatherly kind of thing.
Maybe "light" appears once or twice too often?
Maybe it's too long ago to matter.
Anyhow lovely. I say too much for Lute poem
but I leave a rose
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This is GORGEOUS! I truly adore this, it's beautifully written
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Hi, if it's dove as single it would be was white if more than one then you would use were. at least I think so, had me going as well when I wrote it,lol,still got me thinking, lovely write a pleasure to read, hugs Di
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I also liked it it has a dreamy quality to it
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Very beautiful poem.
Well written. Great
imagery. I really
enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing.
Jeannie D Hunter
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I enjoyed reading something that I'm not usually aquatinted with but I like this work very very much. I hope you will read my work and enjoy it like I enjoyed reading this.
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The last stanza is powerful and overall this is a wonderful write. This made me want to read more of your work. I also especially loved the imagery in "folded like a rose." Keep up the great writing
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amazing word weaving
it's cryptic enough but the length isn't dragging. it's dream-like. Good job
Keep on writing. -
Wow. Wow. This is bookmarked. I loved the emotion, I loved the imagery, and I especially loved those last two lines. Write on. ~~SpydurPoet~~ P.S. A dozen roses for Valentine's day.
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my comment went away .. harumpf.
winds are weaving ..
arise! arise!
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Very pretty, Lute.
Val
Edited on Feb 14, 9:40 because 'too asleep to even spell simple words right.'.
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