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~*Shadows*~ ( Haiku)

Shivering goosebumps
constantly looking behind
I know someone is there

Author notes


Written September 24th, 2002

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Tirrell
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It may be off in count for the final line,
    yet this has a great feeling to it. The air of creepy
    ever try a cinqiain?


  • Ethereal One gold member
    August 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent presentation

    Ooooo........This is very well written.
    I have felt that strange feeling when we think someone is following behind us. Really creepy Sis. I'm scared!!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!

    Ethereal Melody


  • BillS2
    January 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Susan:
    Nice Haiku! Looking over my shoulder as I turn out the lights. Thanks. Bill


  • qnhoneybee
    September 23, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    How creepy is that feeling as if you are being watched and followed? I love these Haikus because if you know what you are doing you only need but a few lines to say soemthing great and you did a great job with this one too. I love the orange writing with the blackground as well.

    Great write

    BTW Nice to meet you too!
    meesa_p

  • Theneed4u
    March 12, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Heyt susan, i live around Hopkinsville, how bout you!!!And you welcome for sending you back to your highschool days!!!
    lol
    well thanx for the comment
    God Bless
    JP


  • Ocean Gypsy silver member
    October 9, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Cweepy....But nice haiku..;) xo. ~ Ce

  • RockStarAngel7
    October 9, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    wow erie

    †Jen†


  • haikumonk gold member
    September 29, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    halloween time...................

    BOO!!!!!!!

    hahahahaha

    Monk

  • Bran
    September 28, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    A foraging cat
    Digs for scraps in the garbage
    Ignoring the rain. :) -Brandon


  • September 28, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Makes you look over your shoulder... (hee-hee) :~)


  • Wesley Storer
    September 26, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    You have a lot of nice compliments. You are obviously a fellowship person. Shiver me timbers!


  • willdabeast
    September 25, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    it rocks, i'm a teens so like the rest of 'em i screw wih d' rules lol, does form matter it is another of our races banes, structure, lol vain, lol anyway i will stop laughing and say great write i think i'll read another---cell48


  • coffee-agh
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Shadows looming can be felt behind, Well done -tj-
    Grading -excellent- ruddy pute playing odd games
    Edited by coffee-agh on right now.


  • September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    I try to believe in a good Haiku, but personally, I think they are much too difficult to pull off in a proper 5, 7, 5 order and paint the necessary image. You have done so, with the exception your last line has six syllables. I am not judging your work, I like it, but the constructive criticism is the last line should only have 5 syllables. If I were judging your work I would say it was solid. It's just that I don't personally like Haiku poetry. Your other work is much better!

  • StrmDncr
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Boo!


  • fantastix silver member
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    eerie, got my heart rate going...nice write.


  • catz Moderators member
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Nice Haiku ... very nice.I agree with Sprocket.. about the extra syllable and shortening it. But it's your poem and if you want one more syllable in YOUR Haiku than is supposed to be there, well, what the hey.... call it creativity :)
    Dee

  • sinman
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    Very good write. Amazing how a few words could make an impact. The last line is one syllable too long though. Like Sprocket had said.


  • Desiree Darkk
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Hey that's scarey Susan. Few words but I got the message. Good job. Desiree


  • September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    hi again your work is great a few words can have such impact, really liked this one see you soon.Janet :O)


  • NurseChilly gold member
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Scary little number lolmao...cute though...~~~GILL~~~~


  • Nam
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    yeah it is me, hi.

    :0)

    Nam


  • Windsong
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    creepy!
    well done!

  • Sprocket
    September 24, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    neutral

    LOL really like that - darn shadows - creepy kinda things - always wanna hang about and give you a hard time

    (and um maybe the last line is a bit too fat - someone's might lighten the load ;)

    [:o]

1 - 24 of 24