Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Alone in Mexico


I spent 20 years alone. Alone in Mexico
Maybe ya know me

I remember seein' ya, walkin' 'round the sinners
Singin' hymns
Scrapin' at the Amish Innards
Maybe ya know me

Oh why, I can't remember
Maybe ya know me

I can recall ya laughin'
Laughin' at the Sunday Mass
I remember
I remember why I didn't know ya
I remember why I never chose ya
Singin' Midday holy hymns
Alone. I remember rollin' with the ocean. Yeah
Maybe ya know me


Author notes

Original draft:

Momma, Jacob scratched me with his fingers
I got a bad bed blister
I spent 20 years alone. Alone in Mexico
Maybe ya know me

I remember seein' ya, walkin' 'round the sinners
Singin' hymns
Scrapin' at the Amish Innards
Maybe ya know me
Oh why, I can't remember
Maybe ya know me


Tell me which one you like better.
Written February 10th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Hellspars Umbrella
    March 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Actually i like the original better. But both are very good. The original just seems to have more a sense of unity. Both awesome. Catch ya later. great write