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I Touch You Moan


I strut
You see

I look

You beckon


I touch

You moan


I hold

You sigh


I kiss

You kiss


You grab

I gasp


I tug

You melt


I thrust

You scream.


I yell

You smile.


I collapse

You grin


I’m worn

You win.


I turn

You pull


I pant

You climax.


I’m spent

We touch


We sleep

Our bliss!



Author notes

pant, pant, pant...
Written February 10th, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • DarkChildsKiss silver member
    December 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. It is short but I like that. Good Write!


  • wbiro gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well, here you are again, Ms. Moon! I'm honored! (and I will certainly return the favor! Let's see, do I have room in my favorites so I don't forget...!) and I do appreciate a mature feedback once in a while! (can't you tell by the way I'm throwing myself at you!!!)
    appreciative again


  • Celticmoon
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like the short sentences, worked very well. Kept the flow nicely as well as the build up growing rather quickly. Nice and even flow from begining to end leaving the reader panting with vivid images branded in his mind.

    Blessings
    celticmoon

  • Lilac Moon silver member
    July 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh, this was great! Tells a whole story, simply and directly. And sexily. (Is that a word?)

    Well done. I am grinning here. =)

    Lilac Moon


  • ronnie62
    May 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Playful, and intriguing, nicely done.


  • Jaded Lily gold member
    May 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Mmmm this is one tasty morsel here! Nicely done my Friend. Lucky woman you have there!

    Lily ~*


  • Leala
    April 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    nice and steamy

    oh nicely done. THe font size makes it all that much better. Sorry for the latness of doing the two reviews I have promised you life has been pretty hectic around here. I really liked it. well take care and god bless
    ciao
    leala


  • StoryOfaLostLove
    April 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully romatic, and sensual..i loved it...it was very erotic, yet beautiful

  • lilwittywit
    March 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    very blunt, but stil good.. Keep em comin, you know you get better each time..


  • Touchof1der silver member
    February 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I still like this one!!
    Edited on Feb 27, 1:37 p.m. because ''.

1 - 10 of 10