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a bad day made better

pickled pie and peppered pipers
worn and weary window wipers
algorithm anarchism
maybe mini monarchism
laughing loud, laughing proud
kicking dirty cowboys out
flipped and tumbled dirty rhythm
all dry theres no water in them
slimy worm and bleeding rat
little scratch from dirty cat
itchy bites from bad mosquitos
all made better by doritos!

Author notes


Written February 7th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Token Massacre
    August 28, 2006
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    ok this is absolutely adorable, the punctuation needs work but it's not quite what the contest is about.. I'm sorry


  • Heartofacircle
    May 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    haha doritos, lmao that was good, I loved this piece, as you saw I gave u 25 pts. for helping my brother out, storywrite and i dont get along lol yet, so figured that would be easier here, thanks for sharing this piece, keep up the awesome poetry here

  • smoke key
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great

    hey, this is a fantastic poem and doritos truely do offer comfort and momentarily sooth all those little problems
    nice one
    xxx smoke

  • procrastinatrix
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    just killer

    I like what you write. This is just killer.


  • LAPoe gold member
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes, Doritos the magical cure all for all that ill's,
    silly and nonsensical with a touch of whimsy and crazy
    banter all rolled up into a very interesting and entertaining
    poem...this is so much fun to read...loved this...what
    an imagination!!!lapoe...


  • penman gold member
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    This to me was like a mental romp through a few moments in almost anyone's thoughts. It really has such a universal appeal. As for the ending, fantastic. A few Doritos definitely do improve some days! Great job.


  • Uhs Feth Malorn
    February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I REALLY like this, I'm not sure why. I have no clue what it is about or anything, but I really like it.


  • Driftwood
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO!!!!

    Hey now.. this was really good... I love the ryhme and the flow is great. I think you did an outstanding job with this write. I'm impressed!!! Great job and hope you keep it on and I wish you the best of luck with more penning. Gary

  • elfflower1989
    January 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Aww thanks. I like rhyming that way...I believe I came up with it after someone complained that teenagers don't know how to rhyme words that contain more than one syllable

  • Lalaith
    January 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh, this is really cool, I especially like the lines
    algorithm anarchism
    maybe mini monarchism
    It's random and the words just flow- in one word, truly awesome...oops, that was two words...nevermind

1 - 10 of 10