THIS IS PART OF EDNA's "Crapulus" COLLECTION OF MALE-ORIENTATED POEMS.
I cringed in terror in the shelter
As the bombardment blazed above;
There were six of us in there.
And I felt a hand in the darkness
Creeping under the blanket,
Searching for my crotch,
Unzipping me, taking out my terrified cock.
And then your head went down
And I felt your soft lips on me
Drawing out my slimy semen and I knew
It might be my last orgasm on earth.
So thank you for swallowing the whole lot
Especially since I hadn't washed for days.
Author notes
Why is this a really bad poem? Well, going into detail is pointless. It has no rhyme or reason; it's illogical and unrealistic. Its only raison d'etre is the cheap joke at the end. Admittedly the joke is quite funny, but it doesn't excuse the rest of the poem. The best touch, in my humble opinion, is the inclusion of the word "whole" in the penultimate line as that is what makes the joke work. So it's a joke, but not a poem. But you, dear reader, should applaud it out of sympathy. Oh yes the poem is in bad taste too. For something in MUCH, MUCH worse taste, it's time to try allpoetry.com/poem/1125043 .
Written February 7th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Hand me your worst! by Mj.
300 points, ended April 11, 2005, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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yuck... that is gonna stick in my mind for the rest of the evening. You are warped and very funny
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Sorry didn't realize the contest was over! Well that just goes to show you how dense I can be. (ha ha)
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW! You hadn't washed! Yeah, I know, out of the "whole" poem, that is what stuck in my head, call me weird. I think this poem definately fits the contest though and good Luck in it.
~val~
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Hahaha the last line is awesome xx
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I am honoured (nay! overwhelmed) to have taken the GOLD (I'm so sad - q.v.) and SILVER awards in the same competition. If only I had entered a third one I might have created history with a clean sweep. And, of course, nearly any of my poems could have been in there with a chance. Thank you indeed to the contest organiser for having a sharp eye for bad poetry.
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Yes, I like "terrified cock" as well; I was very worried it was a "good" transferred epithet and that the poem might therefore be ruled out as not being bad enough. However the contest holder knew better. It may have been the last line that clinched it.
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It's disgusting, in bad taste, pointless, unpoetic, and just out and out retarded.
I loved it.
Mad props for the phrase "my terrified cock". What an image.
I also think it would be a great idea for you to write a series of sci-fi/erotica poems called "My Last Orgasm on Earth". They could be sold with the book I hope to release in the coming years: "Invasion of the Sex Robots: A Collection of 150 Sci-fi/Erotica Haikus".
Just let me know...
~*~Kat C~*~ -
Very interesting and a bit weird but nice write
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lol
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never thought of an ending li,ke that..very creative indeed.
lust makes something gross, seem insignificant..if lust for a last time was the deed.
Peace Muddy -
Well that was certainly very interesting, and I liked the last line, very humorous. I wouldn't call this poem sick and twizted though. But it was a good read. Thanx for entering and good luck.
~lonelyone -
Thats the last thing i expected to read in this contest, it was more sick than funny tho, something about erotica poems turns me off i find them a little bit creepy, this is a good poem, just not my cup of tea
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LOL so disturbing! good luck
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haha
lol that is quite disturbing but haha i think everyone has experience that to an extent lol
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wow, lol very cool write, i guess it was a good thing thy did it if u felt it to b ur last time on earth, but outa curiosity, did u return the favor? well any way good right and yea def funny
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FUNNY
I found this to be really funny and not gross but more of freedom to write what ever you want,thats why we write !!Great imagination keep up the great work!!! -
very gross indeed
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OH MY GAWD.... now that is GROSS! But then... so much of reality is eh?
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
7 old applause
