*JUST NOT MY DAY BY POOR OLD EDNA*
I have no home,
No place in this cold dark city
Where I may lay my head
Except the cold, cold gutter.
I am alone, no Mum to care for me;
Not a soul to give me succour.
My life is a catastrophe,
A series of disasters.
From birth have I led
A life of rank inconsequence.
Why not end it now? I think.
I could. I can. I must. I shall!
In the lowly alley where
My filthy, sore-covered body
Lies in soiled and odious rags
I resolve my terminating actions,
Crawling around drunkenly
Among the soggy rat droppings.
I'm searching for the wherewithal
With which to end myself.
At last, a broken bottle - So
I take it to my waiting throat.
But, sod it, it's made of plastic
And would not cut through butter hot.
So, instead of sharply slitting
My eagerly attentive jugular,
I've barely scratched the grimy epidermis.
And while I lie sobbing in the culvert
Some bloody passing dachshund
Micturates thoughtfully on my cranium.
Author notes
This one will make you think: go to www.allpoetry.com/poem/1048479 .
Written in 1977 but posted here on the 7th of February, 2005.
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1 - 9 of 9
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Congrats on your bronze! Personally, I didn't really find this one all that funny. I thought it was more heartwrenching than funny, really. My only real critique is the ending...I think it's a bit too wordy. Other than that, very nice write!
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I really hope this is just a poem and that you are not literally living in the street because that would be incredibly sad wish you were not far away and I could give you a hug and maybe try to help. Homelessness people are always on my thoughts and really wish that the government and society did alot more to try to alleviate their suffering. Best wishes cake
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This is a good poem, though somewhat graphic lol.
"Crawling around drunkenly
Among the soggy rat droppings."
I understand this shows how you feel and the mood, and you shouldn't keep it out just because it isn't the prettiest thing, but it did make me gag a bit lol. I have to say, this depressing poem is unlike any other depressing poem I've ever read. You get a pat on the back for that
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As a result of your kind comments I have delayed my throat slitting for a few days, or at least until the herpes is cured. I forgot that Americans call dachshunds Wieners (I don't understand this as I don't think the breed originates from Vienna), but I feel a "passing Wiener micturates" is less touching.
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this was a good wrighting thumbs up
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I swear... I have always DETESTED those damned wiener dogs. What kind of a joke are they anyway? Next time I see one... I'm gonna yell.."Micturate Off... you freak of nature" Poor old Edna why not look on the economical side and realize that you just got a free shower? My heart goes out to anyone that has to try and find an outlet so they can type in the cold gutter while in an alcohol induced altered state.... in the dark no less. WHAT A WOMAN YOU TRULY ARE. If only you knew it.
Edited on Feb 07, 6:30 p.m. because ''. -
Dear Pinhead,
Thank you for your kind words. Your eloquence belies your nom de plume. I liked "a life of rank inconsequence" too!
"Micturate" is a high class word for "piss uncontrollably" - the idea was that the reader would do so upon reading my little opus. And the noun is micturition. Allpoetry can thus make you laugh and widdle simultaneously. -
This is a peach.What language.A life of rank inconcequence, whai a line.There is not an off word anywhere.I like Britspeak anyhow, and this flows off my tongue.This is one I had to read aloud.Great write.Just one thing, could you define micturates for me?I am ignorant sometimes and this word is beyond me.Don't worry if you don't I will eventually dig up my dictionary.Thanks for entering this very good work,Rob
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Dear Pinhead
I understand you applauded my poem but you didn't post a critique - thanks for the clap (no that's not a double entendre) but go ahead and comment even if you're rude - I can take it (as the actress said to the bishop).
Edited on Feb 08, 4:14 because ''.
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