I see the messages written on the wall,
White against the brown brick,
Strong against my convictions.
These words here, they are dreams,
They are wishes, they are not my own.
I hear the cries come through the streets,
Loud upon the wind that carries,
Violent upon my senses.
These voices are outstretched hands,
They do not reach to hold me.
I feel the tears roll down your cheeks,
Warm as my fingers graze them,
Cold as my emotions feel them.
These tears flow for hearts broken,
They do not flow for me.
I smell the fear coming from you,
Real as it is in this unforgiving world,
Fake as it is in the lies in your mind.
That feeling comes with deep loss,
And that will be the loss of me.
I taste the regret we both feel,
Bittersweet and slightly sour to me,
Like a drop of chocolate to you.
You regret ever loving me,
I regret ever letting you.
My senses rage here onward, outward,
Like the horse on the charge.
What we had is lost now, dear,
And maybe it never was;
But all the same... it consumed.
Author notes
Written February 6th, 2005
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1 - 10 of 10
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metaphorically discriptive and sad.
well written, heartfelt and sad but i sense your strength has won. im irish and my granny used to tell us how frustrating love can be... "love is like treacal-(Toffee)running down your back and you can't get your tongue around to lick it!" may i add to this comment that i have entered your contest tonight. loved your work. dolores. x -
Excellent despite the sadness and the end....but it reads to me as if this was a relationship that really hurt when it ended , but in the long run it will not have any regrets
Reenie
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ah, what a vividly wonderful write.
this piece is undescribable, simply amazing. emotion, imagery, metaphor, etc etc all in one piece! lol, i know thats what great writers are supposed to do, but damn. lol,
youre good at it.
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very, very good. i love the imagery and the metaphor.
best lines:
"You regret ever loving me,/I regret ever letting you." -
when you had it it was passion...
healthy or not healthy...
it is what it is and was what it was...
enjoyed how this made me think
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As usual, another wonderful write. The emotions are extremely vivid. Great poem. Hugs, Patricia
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"You regret ever loving me. I regret letting you."
These feelings remind me of the movie "The Way It Was", which was a sad movie for me as was this poem. The emotions still feel strong in this piece. At any rate, I did think this was an exceptional write. -
nice
I enjoyed this poem a lot. the description was very well done, and i picked up on the energy right away. it also had some great lines. well done. -
yeah i agree with Traicionado, this poem is fantastic, your wording is brilliant, i could never come up with something like this.You go into such depth and passion, really loved it very well done
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We may have a work of art
I am...at a loss for words...but I will try to muster a few. I am in awe with your wording; your imagery, so very descritive, it puts me to ease. I can find no fault in your freelance style, so passionate. So very in depth. I could drown myself in this poem, so elegant; I could wrap myself in its craft.
Edited on Feb 06, 11:30 p.m. because 'I can'.
1 - 10 of 10







4 old applause
