So
many
thoughts
rushing
through
my
head.
Like
t
h r
u u
n s
d h
e i
r n
i g
n
g.
River
Rapids
threat
ning
to
o
v
e
r
f
l
o
w.
So
many
choices
I
feel
like
I'm
about
to
drown
someo
n
e
please
Help
me.
Save
me,
From
this
storm.
Please
save
ME
from
d
r
o
w
n
i
n
g
in the river of my mind.
Author notes
Written February 6th, 2005
A contest entry
- Random by stillinnirvana.
300 points, ended March 25, 2006, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Life Is Beautiful. [Eight Options.] by La Tua Cantante.
545 points, ended March 12, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Not to be rude or anything, but in my rules I put to make Dirty Pretty's readable,
But just in the first part I already couldn't read it,
So I skipped over it, which took away from the poem.
Otherwise the parts of the poem I could keep up with were excellent. -
that is awesome. i love your form. it makes your poem so pretty. i bet that wasn't something you just thought off hand but concentrated on.
-
this is a really good poem. not the best, but i am amazed at the sentance, "please
save
me
from
d
r
o
w
n
i
n
g
in the river of my mind."
that one really touched my soul. this is a good poem. it has meaning. i see somthing there, under all the words and movement. you are trying to say something, or do something. i really like it. it is really good.
~Solo
-
Excellent
Awesome poem. I really loved the way you wrote it. It goes well with the setting and wording of the poem. Good job. -
Excellent job! NOt only was this a good poem,but you gave it personality through it's presentation. Wonderful!
vj
-
Very good, very felt
Until the very end I thought you had made the mistake of adding 'like' where it shouldn't have been. But when I saw the end it became clear what the intended metaphor was, and the rest of the poem supports it very well, especially with the literal twists and turns of the words. Very good. Very felt. -
Beautifully done. I love the writing technique as well as the sharp contrast between the visual and mental images. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
-
This is absolute gorgeous hon. Very creative angles here and simplistic yet powerful defining words within this piece
-
Bravo
very cool, very creative. I liked reading the thunder rising in the way you wrote it. Bravo -
this is really nifty... i love it...great job... it was writeen so .... cool lol... loved it.. and thats a great contest idea... good luck with it... xoxo stac
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i love this. its very creative on how u wrote it!! keep penning!
~Kate -
extremely creative by giving that image as portrayed by the poem. maybe there will be a knight in shining armor that will save you one day, DARK.
-
Thats really cool and there so many ways to write like that great poem.I loved it.Just ask and i'm sure someone will save you from drowing in water.choices are a good thing sometimes.great write I like it keep writing.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
4 old applause
