Lurking around,
Feeling ashamed,
Depressed,
Un-named.
Sullen blackness,
fearful darkness,
It is scared,
It is hopeless.
Always wrong,
Never right,
At partys never anyone,
To invite.
It sits alone,
It sits afraid,
Waiting until,
away it fades.
Never to be heard,
Never to be seen,
Never to be nice,
Never to be mean.
It is inside you,
It is inside me...
Author notes
Written February 2nd, 2005
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1 - 6 of 6
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ah, youre eleven eh..ok i believe you then
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besides the fact that i dont believe that you wrote this when you were ten, i must say, the flow is pretty good, except for that party stanza...the invite line pretty much throws everything off...not that if it didnt, the poem would be better but oh well...anyways, that poser thing was dumb, i cant judge YOU, cause i dont know you, but i CAN judge your POETRY, which is quite...bleh
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Ok.
This is pretty good for a 10 year old.I guess because when I was 10 I was writing about puppies and kitties and stuff... lol. Anyhow, with practice comes perfection, so keep up the good work. -
Yeah, what do you mean by poser? I'm not saying im a Goth, I'm writing a poem about Darkness? I'm sorry that I dont understand, I mean, you must be soooo Gothic and cool. Well sorry! Next time dont even bother commenting! I'm sorry that we cant all be like you. But not everyone wants to be sad and lonely, my life is good. And I like my life, I was 10 when I wrote this, and this is a great standerd of writing. So shut your face!!! Anyway, you suck. I dont like you. So hahahahaha! I'm bored now, I'm going to go and do my homework now. So there. Positive people get further inlife than the negative people. Apart from Daria and Raven, but even their animation lives suck. Muhahahaha.
From Glitter. Muhahaha. Shiny Sparkly Glitter. Which is glimmering and glistening, while you're tracing your own image. *breathe*
Buh bye.
P.s - I do actually respect Goths. -
What do you mean by "poser"?
Raven- -
Well, the rhyming is good, and the flow is really good, but the context is iffy. I mean, seriously:
Never to be heard,
Never to be seen,
Never to be nice,
Never to be mean.
You definitely do not know the true meaning of Darkness. It is a depressing element that everyone has *like you pointed out; I applaud you for that
* No one can get rid of it, even if they're the happiest, preppiest, most jolly person on earth. It lurks behind corners, in your deepest thoughts, and it never goes away. The people who have it the most never acknowledge that they have it; it's like they're ashamed. Everyone has it, though, so no reason to be ashamed. This is a good poem, but you might want to edit it a little. Maybe change some of the verses, and you really need to use spell check. Well, not REALLY, but like "parties" is like a no brainer. Also, the verse:
Always wrong,
Never right,
At partys never anyone,
To invite.
It doesn't really fit. The last two lines don't, anyway. But I do love how you make it seem like Darkness has feelings. It's all how you look at it. Good job, poser. LOL
~Wicked~Hatred~Death~
Edited on Mar 09, 5:13 p.m. because ''.
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