On occasion I feel
That life is a prison --
The punishment is measured
By how much your parents
Have taught you
To hate yourself...
Childhood conditioning
Stripes you in shades
Of black and blue --
Sentenced by fate
To regret lost opportunities...
Caged with your destiny
By striated memories
That eat your insides
Like an ulcer
Grown cancerous...
Yet, sometimes,
Love can open a window
For light to illuminate
That stygian shadow land
Of draconian disciplines
Where regrets and mistakes
Spontaneously combust
In a blaze that
Heats your heart --
Molten gold,
Forged in a blast furnace:
Pristine and pure...
A covenant that links
All your yesterdays
To a shining
Tomorrow.
First published in STAND ALONE, July, 1998 (a now defunct lit. magazine
in Des Moines, IA, USA)
Author notes
This is a poem about child abuse from my own childhood experiences. If you have not been an abused child, much of it will likely pass you by, and that's just as well. It was in the Writer's Digest top 100 in 1995.
Written March 12th, 1995
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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is this yours?
was it published around here too?
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What an insulting thing to say ...
of course it's mine. I was in the Writer's Digest top 100 with this poem in 1995. I don't post other people's poems as mine.
Why would you even ask such an insulting thing?
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Outstanding write. Great title. Very well expressed situation from perspective of years down the road. "on occasion feeling" (thank goodness for every stretch of time when it can be forgotten or ignored); "childhood conditioning...caging...with memories...eating your insides".
What force, greater than the unhappy recycling wounds of the past, exists? The mighty hope you proclaim with:
Where regrets and mistakes
Spontaneously combust
In a blaze that
Heats your heart --
Molten gold,
Forged in a blast furnace:
Pristine and pure...
A covenant that links
All your yesterdays
To a shining
Tomorrow"
Beautiful, powerful and touching poem! Truly excellent!
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Right, first Oedipus the King of Sophoclean tragedy. Itis true that he killed his father and unwittingly made love to his mother. Hence Oedipal complex of feelings is supposed to be a stage young boys go through. I assume "Oedipus Wrecks" are the products of family dysfunctionalities in a modern parallel.
This pronouncement is particularly good: " The punishment is measured
By how much your parents
Have taught you
To hate yourself...".
From our way of life back to a millennia old myth you take us:
"Sentenced by fate
To regret lost opportunities...".
And that depth of darkness Dante knew and T.S. Eliot caught up: the voyage into the inferno from over the river Styx. This hellish place has its paradoxical darkness and flames - this stygian darkness [People may wish to know "stygian" is a word derived from "styx".]
Draca was a Greek scribe at law who found harsh, disciplined laws the answer to citizenry waywardness. Hence from Draca to Draconian.
This is a learned free verse poem of classical allusions at their best.
Metaphors;alliteration; balanced antithesis - your useful devices are all there.
This is a poignant write on one aspect of growing into adulthood. Thank you.
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You know what I just realized? I don't read enough of your work. This is simply brilliant. I am pleased to see it was picked up for publication. Though I am saddened that life experiences have made your perspective so real. I do get a sense that though not completely healed, you have come to terms with your past. I am so sorry you ever had to feel such pain.
Off to read more of what I have been missing. And why I have been missing it remains "out there" somewhere.
Wonderful poem my friend. ~Pam
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Draconian means hard as in discipline.
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Besides the fact that it was entered in my contest I must say that the name caught my eye, (a parody of course on the famous Sophoclean tragedy). it seems you certainly captured the feeling of angst in words. A quick question, what does the word "draconian" mean?? Pertaining to Dracula perhaps?? I don't mean to sound stupid or insulting; its an honest question. The "love can open a window/for light to illuminate/that stygian shadow land" was so great but became so obscure after that draconian line that i felt it lost alot of its momentum. Otherwise I would say this is a very eye opening poem; one that forces the reader to think on things that otherwise they may not "life is a prison-- the punishment is measured by how much your parents have taught you to hate yourself" << that was very original, and exemplary of the "eye opening" theme I just mentioned. Rhythym and meter were good, and it flowed even more smoothly. Honestly, I can't offer many technical complaints. Overall, not a bad poem at all, thanks for the write m8.
--Cheers,
Sol -
This is so sad
I'm afraid I can't relate to this as much as others, perhaps, because I've been fortunate enough to never have been abused. The visualization, flow, and wording of this piece were wonderful. Nice work, and thanks so much for entering, dear
~Smidge~ 
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I agree with you. Especially to that idea about parents teaching kids to hate themselves... and I can sure relate to that "lost opportunities" thing.. Thanks for entering.
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I can relate to this. The whole reason I ran away from home was due to the religious conditioning I was being subjected to. Even after I was away from it though, I was consumed by guilt, but it was not love, but education that set me free.
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excellent write..loaded with messages, subtle stories of past abuses and a great new beginning...based on love. the "oedipus" reference may be pointing at the source of abuse..great !
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Nice
"All your yesterdays..."
Great line. The vocabulary of this poem is very sophisticated. It flows very well. -
Awsome... I enjoyed this very much. Made me think about a few things!
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great
nice. is this your work? and it was published? that rockss. I wish I was good enough to get a published work... you know in a magazine or something... well, this poem rocked, I like its title as well as its contents, I thought they were both genius pieces. Keep penning, Dead Kennedy Rolls
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A covenant that links
All your yesterdays
To a shining
Tomorrow.
That's beautiful... The whole poem is, sad and beautiful. THere is so much truth in this. Although my parents never abused me, i have been abused, and I can relate to all the emotions in this piece. -
I loved the title and it went so well with the poem, though it doesn't seem so.. I haven't been the subject of child abuse, but the message in this poem is very clear.. In phrases such as "Molten gold,/Forged in a blast furnace:" and "By how much your parents'Have taught you/To hate yourself" your pain and feelings of unimportance and inferiority are plainly seen. I loved the imagery and the well written manner in which this was done. Awesome job and good luck in my contest.
[Kayla] -
Wonderful
After reading your comments I had to go back and read it a few times. Never have I had to use a dictionary so often just to clarify what I was reading. For me this all added to the poem, i wouldn't have known what it was about if you hadn't said. I like the wide range of words that you have used and I think they are a good choice connected to the subject matter. Its a very dofferent poem to a lot of things I have read and I think you have done a wonderful job. -
hello 'ecrivain01' the title of this poem is a stroke of genius! Oedipus... a tragedy indeed
the shades that grip our life..
take care
love,
kunjal.
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