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I want to feel you

I want to kiss you
On the forehead
   (smell your sweet hair)
On each eyelid
The tip of your nose
Full on the lips
Slip my tongue in
I want to taste you

I want to push up against
Your soft breasts
Count your ribs
Glide my hands
Over your smooth shoulders
The curve of your back
Your hips
I want to feel you

I want to use my hands
     (Both hands)
I want to make your hips rock
I want to feel your clit
I want to make it quiver
I want to make you moan

Author notes

Okay, so this is my second piece of erotica. I wanted to present it in a...loving context? Is that right for erotica? Perhaps it needs a better title? I dunno, as I said, I haven't writtent much..I'm not sure if it's quite right. If you read this, PLEASE COMMENT!
Thanks!
~Elsie P-W
Written February 1st, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Blackdayz854
    May 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That is very tasteful. I really like the way you presented it for her instead of for you (the way it should be!)! It was very good. I really enjoyed it. I hope you get to do those things! lol. Well, it was very tastefully done. Good job.

    ~Laney


  • asymmetry
    January 29, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It's tasteful.


  • Yourkitty623
    June 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It has a swell flow good job and it isnt overly sexual which is a good thing ... well i think it is ... it's also good that it's full of love so yeah job well done

    _kait_


  • Joe Spencer
    March 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Erotica poetry is really hard. It takes many many tries to get it right. I'm still trying.

    The love expressed in this poem is just as real as the "perfect fit" of a man and woman.

    It is expressed through many people who deserve it! Two of those people would be me and you. (of course) There are many others out there that deserve it and get it! But I know how this feels. It is an amazing thing! thank you for sharing this poem with all of us! Keep up your good work!


  • Divina love
    March 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was great. Nice flow and very sensual.
    I saw you commented on my 1ste erotic piece, which was nothing much compared to this. But I am also working on my second and hope you will comment.
    Love D.L.


  • faggityann
    March 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WOW.





    enough said

  • AsYetFaithless
    February 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I like it, very nice flow, and I like how you set it up, it makes for an interesting read.

1 - 8 of 8