Screams exit my mouth and enter your ears,
Truth pouring out with every volume
enhanced Word. Expressions of Emotion, My
love. You suffocate me, with your Scent...
Blue to Green Eyes, look into the very
soul of her lover, sorting through his
chaotic mind, she’s grown to embrace,
Making him a better man, with her
soothing Kiss, Giving him the Strength
to face the World...
Two Libras, Balancing the Scales, through the
Miscommunications and obstacles of love.
On this Journey, My love, I'd choose no other
to walk beside...
“Don’t give me that look”
Green to Blue Eyes, Invite me to
accompany her in Nocturnal
Slumbers...
Like Spoons, we sleep, My love. Lost in the Pillows,
that hold tight to your intoxicating aroma.
Author notes
Written February 1st, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Hello, I Love You... by OneMorePeacefulDay.
500 points, ended March 23, 2005, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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Thanks for calling me Hot
Edited on Mar 14, 8:14 p.m. because 'Carn't Spel'. -
How sweet! She's a lucky girl, you're hot and you can write! A girl spends lifetmimes wishing for someone to write something even half as good for them as what you did for her. I sincerely hope that it was well appreciated! Fantastic write, truly!
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"like spoons we sleep" wow... thats an awesome line
i personally liked the random puncuation, and capitals. it enhanced the detail and beautyof this lovely poem. thank you so much for sharing.
Keep Penning!
~Chentele Marie -
wow, i really liked that alot.
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this is so beautiful! love is a wonderful thing and you portrayed it very well.
the picture is cute, i hope you are together with this person for a long time, and best of luck to you in the contest! great job!
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Nice work. I love your use of abnormal words and comparisons it makes your work unique. I ended was what caught my thoughts the most.
"Like Spoons, we sleep, My love. Lost in the Pillows,
that hold tight to your intoxicating aroma. "
I love it. great writing and keep up the good work! -
Good job. The comments above pretty much some up what I thought of your poem. Keep writing.
"Miscommunications and obstacles of love.
On this Journey, My love, I'd choose no other
to walk beside..."
That's nice.
~Josh -
wow thats really beautiful!! good job on the peom!! wow!! i wish i could write like you!!
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That is sweet I wish I had somebody care that much about me.
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Awesome
"You suffocate me, with your Scent..."
Your poem is awesome and has many wonderful lines. The feelings pour from your superb words. I can't describe all the emotion my heart felt while reading it... -
Spiffy!
You are probably getting sick of this but, wonderful poem. The way the lines were placed was interesting, did you do this on purpose? When first reading your poem i thought of rememberance and longing then the last lines gave the poem a real punch. You were with her the whole time and just dreaming and gazing on her. Wonderful!! -
There are so many good images in this poem, too many to copy down here. I could feel what was going on in it. This was an amazing write and a joy to read. Keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest.
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I like the style you've written this piece in, and the words used. I liked how the title when you think about it, you can see where it is coming from yet it is not mentioned directly in the piece. I liked your phrase "intoxicating aroma." Great write.
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this was a good poem, not my type but i could tell this is a good poem, you have a great talent with creating feelings within the readers
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Wow. This is hauntingly beautiful. Definitely gonna bookmark this. I loved the "spoon" image. Very original and highly creative. Nice job. God bless & Write on, Sim.
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Oh, my god. This poem is so beautiful. It made me sigh, almost. Great work!
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I liked your use of capitalization in this poem. It really added a lot to the overall effect and power or certain words. Great job.
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Two Libras, Balancing the Scales, through the
Miscommunications and obstacles of love.
So cute! OH my goodness. And that's her in the pic, please tell her she's GORGEOUS
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This poem seemed to wrap very nicely and flow smoothly. What a wonderful love this seems to be, I should be so lucky to find something like this one more time during my lifetime. Great work. Be Well and Be Blessed.
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The title grabbed my eye and this poem was absolutely wonderful. Awesome images.. they flowed together smoothly blending into one another on a lovely journey. I especially loved the lines:
nvite me to
accompany her in Nocturnal
Slumbers...
Like Spoons, we sleep, My love.
Like Spoons, we sleep is just.. awesome. Great write, keep it up! -
lovely poem!
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Wonderful.No words to express
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Interesting poem. I like that you were able to convey the chaotic feelings of two lovers within the poem. I also like the snow in the picture for the same reason- it helps add to the tone of the poem. Thanks for posting this for us all to read.
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wow! snap, crackle, pop! That was great! It flowed so well and coveyed your emotions beautifully. At the same time it is very creative how you wrote this and in a weird way familiar at parts.( if that makes sense) Anyway it's a great poem and good luck! That is if u need it.
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THis is a very good poem, but what is the title about?
You had alot of in depth emotion in this poem, and I really liked that, if flowed really well, and Caught my attenchin in the first line! -
Great Read.
Amazing. You really drew me into your feelings in this one. So much emotion, some much passion. Very well written. I really liked this. Keep it up!
~The Sleepless One~ -
Oh, how adorable! I hope you let her read it Not only was this well-written, but it conveyed beautifully one of the strongest emotions. You've really captured the feeling of love. My boyfriend will forever hate you after I show him this piece and ask why he can't be this sweet
*Evil laugh* ...The best of luck to you in the contest, my dear
~Smidge~
Edited on Mar 13, 9:53 p.m. because 'I'm a moron and can't type...'. -
And now I have enough points to applause. >.<
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This is so incredibly sweet! I can't explain how much I love it! Really. I love it a lot. The only reason I'm not applauding is I dont have any free ones left today! Sorry!
XoXo
NiKKi -
The title reminds me of a Rush song, 2112. The flow is abnormal, but doesn't sound choppy or anything. Great write, I can see why you got so many applauses. I'd applaud, but I used up the last of my points putting my poem in the featured section, lol. >.<
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Awww. That was a beautiful poem. I love it. It's so sweet and full of emotion. Great write. Also love the format of the poem.
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THAT WA A VERY SWEET POEM A GREAT LOVE POEM SO MUCH EMOTION I CAN TELL YOU REALLY LOVE THAT PERSON GREAT POEM NICE WORK
MARIE
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I love the parts about scent.You don't read about smells too often in a poem! I had a boyfriend once whose smell I couldn't get enough of, it was intoxicating, so I know what you mean! (I think) A lot about your style is very different. Great write!
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excellent
this is soo cute! very well written and well tought out. great love poem, very emotional and, well great! -
Oh.... I like. I can't explain how. And I like your choice of title... It really isn't said in the poem, but it just gives it a setting without impying anything else. New, clever, cool.
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Good
Great poem loved every secound of it. -
Sweet X's 100 candy hearts and a green blue gaze
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Awww this was so sweet! I just love poems like this. Its like you just want to be with that person forever. But yeah the structure was good an your emotions showed right through it. Awesome write! Keep on keepin. Pen in hand.
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ahhhhh this is just really sweet...you do such a good job conveying your emotions and like getting your feelings across in such a sweet senstive way. awesome ryhtm (UGH< I can't spell that word) but the length is awesome not too long or short...awesome write keep it up-
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"12:21" is really a date and not a time...
Dec 21st... the day I met an angel.... -
well, maybe I am stupid, cause noone has asked it...what does 12:21 stand for...?
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This is beautiful, and I really loved:
'Blue to Green Eyes, look into the very
soul of her lover, sorting through his
chaotic mind, she’s grown to embrace,
Making him a better man, with her
soothing Kiss, Giving him the Strength
to face the World...'
Great job, and most definately keep writing
~Smidge~
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This is so well written and it is really beautiful !! i really loved reading this so much , its cute !! i love it !! well done ! such a cute and sweet tribute ! !!
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AWWW...it's soo sweet...and it's such a cute romantic, poem...you are REALY good!!!...dude don't EVER stop writing...cuz your awsome...how long have you been writing? i mean WOA! lol...well keep it up buddy o pal..lol
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I LOVE YOU BOOOOOOOOOOOOOTY! its the bestest poem i have ever ever read! your the best
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nice write
AngelsOgGod,
This is a very nice write. I enjoyed reading about someone else's feelings at a certain time of day. Very clever. Well great job and keep it up!
XOXO
~laura -
i had enjoyed you poem. i thought you used your words very well and that you expressed it well when you said
"Blue to Green Eyes, look into the very
soul of her lover, sorting through his
chaotic mind, she’s grown to embrace,
Making him a better man, with her
soothing Kiss, Giving him the Strength
to face the World..."
good job, please continue to write like you do. -
Well written
Good form. Nice use of enjambment. Well written.
mm -
excellent
OMG I love this poem it is awsome, and this could be me and my husband we both are libras. We have been together for 17 yrs. Good luck in love my friend.
You have a real talent and I love this poem -
A lovely poem of the love of two people Il liked the metaphore of the spoons, this is a refreshing love poem, it uses simple language and is refrshing. Keep writing, I enjoyed reading this poem, the flow was good, a simple story of a great love, well done, all the best,
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