u
n
f
o
l
d
s
on the paper first one wing
i
t
s
the dark ink blot and then the other
s
h
a
p
e
on the paper
the dark ink blot
unfolds its shape
first one wing
then the other
Andrew Hide
01~02~2005
Author notes
Written January 31st, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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Like oil running down the inside of a bottle the meaning of this poem trickles into our understanding. We smile with appreciation. An enjoyable experience to read. I'd say keep the written out version of the Tanka, there is no harm in being clear - your point is made.
Read quite a few of yours this morning, but been no good at posting comments sorry. Suffice it to say I've been intrigued.
Oh and hello from London. -
thats brillient =D
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hmm ... so if the tanka was presented as such a concrete poem it is still tanka ? ... what defines it so ? i love the different way of presenting it .... >>> EM
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Sorry, I just noticed your question.
I wanted o show the poem in both concrete style and as a 'normal' English tanka.
In many ways this was written to show that tanka isn't about a rule of 5-7-5 7-7 syllables laid out in five lines, but rather how a tanka in its correct form can be displayed in any format.
Tanka is about a combining os perspectives of an exvent/situation rather than a shape on paper.
Andrew -
lovely .... may i ask a question ? .... did you feel a need to 'explain' the concrete poem for those of us who may not have understood ? ..... i loved the concrete poem ... really enjoy the form >>>> EM
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Awesome. I liked both versions of the poem. Creative and interesting haiku here. Well done. Indeed a masterpiece and wonderful poem. Keep it up. Good job!
~CT -
quite unique and actually, almost as much fun to read as a real ink blot........"ink blot unfolds"...yes I like this sir.....good idea and looks quite time consuming...the spacing and such...
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excellent
Beautifully done. Not only some real creative talent here but also an excellent poem.
You set a very high standard to follow.
thanks,
Talia -
Superb!
Excellent, Andrew!
Multi-dimensional and very creative. The imagery unfolds itself with the reading. I love doing that kind of thing with poetry too, as a visual experience as well as literary.
~G
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very cleverly done Andrew but u know what the shrinks say about what the butterfly represents lol...great combo of two styles
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in this form it's like you can read it many different ways. As I have always said, you make it look so easy. Super job. Actually it's sort of funny. It leaves you with the impression of what is next?, or when the last wing unfolds what will we see? The use of anticipation is very creative. You speak about the ink blot but then you speak of wings. I sense 2 different parts. One where I anticipate the picture within the ink blot unfolding and one where I am witnessing the birth of something amazing. The wings to me signal something willing to take flight on it's own, no matter if it's an idea or an animal.
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This has been well worth the wait!
I was wondering when you were going to post again and now I see what was holding you up. this is simply a masterpiece!
It is kind of a puzzle at first but then makes perfect sense!
All I can say is WOW!
Susan -
I see this one wasn´t blue it stained itself. A cool picture and quite selfeducated.
And those wings, subleem, they bring it realy to life. Also that dripping effect in the middle.
Edited on Feb 01, 3:38 because ''. -
Outstanding!
Wow! This is a masterpiece! When I saw the title, I knew this was going to be something extra-ordinary and I was so right. This is excellent. How do you do these? The art of combining a poetry form and a poetry style{Shape Poetry and Tanka} is just
"GREAT"! I agree with Tina that this can indeed be read in so many ways and it does give you different ideas and thoughts. It reminds me of this letter which I wrote last week to my best friend{co-incidentally it is her birthday today}. In one part of the letter, there is "really" exciting and happy news{one wing} and in the other, there is "just a hint" of some bad news that "could happen" in the future{the other wing}...This reminds me of that letter which must have reached her today in India. This is wonderful!
-Charishma -
This is word art, quite literally! I like the implications of the ink blot on the paper having wings to take on an essence of being. What a clever way to indicate there is always more than just what one sees!
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ah coolness. And it looks great. With the form it can be read many different ways and I like how it takes you to many different ideas and thoughts
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pretty cool how you made it the way it looked. i'm happy you put it underneath it too so i could make sure i was reading it right, lol. good job.
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Very Creative !
All I ever saw was the skeletal remains of the pelvis.lol
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