Welcome to reality!
I'm your stewardess,
If you look to the left,
You’ll see exactly what’s left
Over on your right,
You’re just going to see who’s sitting next to you
In case of emergency,
We’ve packed these kits
Now would be a good time
To take a look and see what they compose
And we’ll practice how to use them
(just in case)
First pop the seal…just like that
Now I want you to pull this out
Can anyone tell me what this is?
“A mallet?”
Yes that’s correct
“There’s nothing else in the bag”
Oh but there is, just look a little bit deeper
“purple pills”
Yes right again, someone give this guy a cookie
The mallet is for emergencies only
When the person sitting next to you
(or within smacking distance)
Has completely lost touch with this world use it
The purple pills are just to disillusion
Now buckle up, reality is leaving
It certainly didn’t take long
For the reality flight to take off
Up up and away it went into the skies
the passengers put on their earphones and tuned in
(just like they were told)
On the left, strange images floating
And on the right - a moron sleeping
on your shoulder drooling
Shortly after flight, the passenger on the right
Began to shake and quiver.
it was short lived
After the stewardess calmed him down
He went back to reading his magazine
With certain words blocked out
About an hour later, another woman in front
Slowly began to get rowdy!
The stewardess came up to her
(And she didn’t calm down easily)
She became flighty, flippy and vocal
Apparently something in our earphones
Had set her off
She screamed and jumped seats!
I tried to listen but it was too much,
For my feeble little mind...
The lady was screaming things like:
“wrestling is rigged”
“cell phones cause cancer”
“government taxes us on cigarettes…it’s a death tax”
“ashlee simpson lip-synchs!”
Needless to say, the captain threw her out
placing her in luggage storage
After screaming all those crazy things
Many of the passengers were severely shaken
That’s when we took out the mallets......
Author notes
babafa
i did some revision
Written January 30th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Look losers before you get eatin by a fat dude by Classified Memories.
500 points, ended April 9, 2006, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i totally agree with you infact. I just hadnt quiet figured out how to edit. But I did, and I have. If this clarifies anything or counts for anything
anyways I did take your suggestions
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Hiya. As promised:
The only thing I wanted to tell you about this piece is that it gets a bit confusing as to who is speaking and who's head it's going on in. It took me a minute to figure out it was the stewardess talking in the first 3 stanzas. At first I though you had made a slip in pov. It's probably because the dialogue of the people answering the questions is noted with quotations, but not the first speaker. After that (and because of it) it gets hard to tell if it's the stewardess still talking, or a passenger, or just a bodyless narrator. You could probably fix that pretty quick by indicating all the dialogue...
...but hey, you don't have to listen to me.
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After screaming all those crazy things
Many of the passengers were severely shaken
That’s when we took out the mallets......
LMAO! Like Ana said earlier, this was just a gruesome gem of a piece, lol, the Tourettes-like moments followed by sinister shanigans...all made me want to go BUWAHAHAHAA!
Very entertaining and slighty twisted, I think you did one hellava job in making this contest suddenly very interesting and worthy of competition. 
Nicely done, m'dear!
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Oh my god! This was one of the greatest things I've ever read! So simple and random yet perfect. I love it! It confused me a bit but that's really not all that hard to do and it made it all the more interesting. I don't think I've ever read a poem like this before...that I can remember at least.^^; Jeez, I just can't get over how origonal this is. I wish I was this good>_<! Somthing for me to work for right? Thanks a lot, this inspired me to write! Yay! Well great job and good luck in the contest!
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This was a wild, and enjoyable ride.Great work.Color me entertained.Rob
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thanks...coincidence i suppose. ive used this style once or twice prior. anyways i dont think it's a new trend, it's just my obsvervations. some stuff i use in my comedy routines on the airwaves when i does radio stuff
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where is this stuff coming from? ive seen several poems written in this manner today. is it a dleiberate form of poem or just conincidence? am i missing some underlying trend here? agh! anyway, very goodo, i like it. comedy is always better than this seriosu shit people spew out here. regardless of how many hours it took them. keep it up.
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LMAO. You trip me out. That was probably the most amusing thing I've read in a while now. The whole ashley simpson line made me laugh out loud, literally.... I have a friend who gets all mooney-eyed over her. It's disgusting. This, dear friend, was a gem.
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