Your negligence to my detail
is smoldering oil,
slow as twisted metal,
liquefying skin from the arm you seized,
fingernail tracks swell through blue white flames
licking my face and hands
like the tongue of a salamander.
Mesmerized by spits and sizzles,
I watch soft layers of tissue blister,
peel back
one
by
one,
until the sharp stench of skin on fire
stabs out my eyes.
I laugh as you scratch your breasts blazing
screaming for mercy
and death
vocal chords melted to a bone spindle,
while we burn alive in an aluminum can.
Author notes
Written January 29th, 2005
A contest entry
- Invite Only, Because We Are Pompous Like That by Nicole Hanna.
500 points, ended February 3, 2005, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Yow! That sounds painful!
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I don't think Aileen Wuornos could have said it better.
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I have read this before, but I guess I didn't comment. I can't really think of anything to suggest by way of revision right now, but I may later. It's a good piece, some of your best imagery.
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I don't think I've read this... or perhaps I have and decided to not respond. hee hee. I like it, you've got some really hard-core images, that are kicking ass, but there may be too many. Kinda got tangled up in them. Ack- don't really want to do a line by line here... Do you want to email this to me and I'll give it a go-through for you? It's almost there, and I'm glad I stumbled on it.
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liquefying skin from the arm you seized,
fingernail tracks swell through blue white flames
Whoa...gurrrrrl...where have you been?? I've SO missed reading your stuff AND those feelings I get whenever I look upon your brilliance. Like Ana, I am SO estatic that you decided to enter this masterpiece into the contest and even with the caliber shown already, I can still state that you ARE an elite of elites....BRAVO! -
mesmerized by spits and sizzles. lol. I don't know why, but that made me smile and go "oohhh ahhhh" all at the same time. The imagery here was probably the best I've seen thus far in this competition, and that is saying so much since I value the talent of all those who have entered this. And I'm tickled pink that you entered, as I have been lax in keeping up with your writing and this has given me the opportunity to remember exactly WHY I liked you so much to begin with. Beautiful.
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