In a big double bed
Mary knelt down
And gave Joseph head.
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down in dismay
At such filthy frolics
On the first Christmas Day.
Away in a manger
In a big double bed
Mary knelt down
And gave Joseph head.
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down in dismay
At such filthy frolics
On the first Christmas Day.
In a big double bed
Mary knelt down
And gave Joseph head.
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down in dismay
At such filthy frolics
On the first Christmas Day.
Author notes
This would make an ideal message in anyone's personalised Christmas card. I suggest a soft porn picture, water colour perhaps, would be an ideal frontispiece.
To read about Edna's Xmas Party click on www.allpoetry.com/story/1651379 . It is SO F*c*ing charming.
Written January 28th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- twisted by BlooQKazoo.
600 points, ended March 3, 2005, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We Wish You A Scary Christmas by Dmonik.
1750 points, ended January 1, 2008, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Joy to the world!!! 1,000 christmas poems wanted!!! by Elvenfairy.
3265 points, ended March 1, 2008, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
this was certainly an interesting christmas card immage I got here. Very amusing. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck. Merry Christmas
-
Very amusing, I know a few who would like this in a card
best of luck in the contest
-
Thanks for your entry. I shall read it thoroughly upon judging.
-
Brilliant
Absolutely hilarious!
-
Loved it. This is brilliant. Where do you get these ideas? Pure genius. Well done. Keep them coming and blessed be.
-
you have such a lot of trophys. I read this thinking it would be a traditional poem. I was wrong. It was good fun though and I enjoyed it. I will read more of your poems
-
you filthy fuck. i loved it. however, it is a common error, something that got lost in translation when the bible was being translated so that every fucking idiot could understand it, Jesus wasn't born in a manger, he was born of a minger, Mary the whore (my bible explains better) was a bearded lady, a freak condition that she passed down to her son, that's why Jesus was born bearded, I thought a well educated person such as yourself would know this.
-
Haha, this is gold! Brings out the cinic in everyone I think! A great write, I think this is really well written! So sarcastic, i love it! Merry Christmas eh? lmao! I'm still giggling
Have a good one! 
~ Flowerpot
-
If you're still in the Christmas mood, go to allpoetry.com/poem/1651379 .
Edited on Nov 27, 7:51 because ''. -
Oh my gosh, this is horrible, but in a good way. Can you just picture the angels shouting about Jesus' birth, and then they look down and see Mary doing the deed? Or the wisemen bringing their gifts.... the look on their faces!
Very creative, Edna. Let me know when you've made your own set of vulgar Christmas greeting cards, k? -
THIS POEM WON A BRONZE PRIZE IN THE CONTEST. IT JUST SHOWS HOW IMPORTANT BLOWJOBS ARE AT CHRISTMASTIME.
-
god this is excellent! ha id love to get a christmas card with that in...
love
polly xxx -
lol this is gr8 -XxoxX- well writtin
-
He he he he he he - yep I think I need to commision you to keep me amused at work - what do you think? ;-P
Really liked it - but you're obviously a perverted beast!!
Louise x -
lol, that would have been perfect for my comp! nice one. I laughed out loud.
-
LMFAO. Yep yep... I've got a few friends who would, oddly enough, appreciate this greatly during the holiday season. As a matter of fact, I shall inscribe this in all my family christmas cards and see how it is received
Thanks for the laugh today, and the soothing sounds of a gentle chrismtas carol. lol
-
Ending early is good in poetry, not so good in the sack.
-
Your writes make my sides hurt, but I wish you wouldn't make them end so early.
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
