Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

das Lied von der Hure (the whore's song)

THIS POEM IS PART OF EDNA's "randyhornbag" EROTICA COLLECTION

i am a fucking whore
   and that's not a metaphor
it's the total fucking truth
   i'm a prostitute forsooth
it's what i do for work
   i'll fuck or suck or jerk
off any man or beast
   i don't care in the least
young boys old men fat freaks
   i get them all most weeks
i'll have any kind of sex
   cash only and no cheques

i suppose you think it's funny
   to fuck fat men for money
to have countless alien cocks
   often stinking like old socks
shoved up my pretty pussy
   kept artificially juicy
to make the fools imagine
   i'm oozing jissom for them
it's not the best of jobs
   sucking total strangers' knobs
pretending to like vile men
   when if i could i'd flay them

i rarely fuck for pleasure
   i no longer have the measure
of love and tender feeling
   of kisses phlegm congealing
my private sexlife's twisted
   i love being thrashed and fisted
i crave darkest degradation
   masochistic masturbation
so if you think it's funny
   screwing men for money
let me be quite blunt
   if you think so you're a cunt

 

 

Author notes

My fucking RHYMING fucking poem. Fuck you.
OK so you thought that was great, and I can't blame you. But if you click on this www.allpoetry.com/poem/1306474 you will change your mind.
Written January 28th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 50 of 50
  • I A Muse Myself
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    I will click on the link in your author notes (in the hope that the link may work) but I want you to know that I am doing so without thinking this was great!

    The applause is for attempting to spell jissom. I personally would have gone for jism.


    • Edna Sweetlove
      March 6
      Edit | Reply
      I thought long and hard about jissom/jism. Apparently you think a lot about it too. I think "jissom" is more poetic, less - how shall I put this - earthy.


  • elemental angel
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This made me laugh out loud, A piece definately deserving its trophys, I'm just glad I don't know the tune because I'd be singing it all day lmao.
    Bravo


  • catz Moderators member
    December 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You know sooo much, makes me wonder sometimes... but then that goes away and I know better...lol.
    Good luck in the contest

    Dee


  • Nicotine Eyes
    December 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hardcore Holder

    This was good, i like the rhyme. Some word I've never heard, but I don't care, makes it better to read. Thanks For entering and Good Luck.

    [♥]Nicotine.

    • Edna Sweetlove
      January 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Which words had you never heard before? "The"? How can you say "Good Luck" when you had no intention of awarding a prize? I naturally don't care but I just find that insincere bollocks.


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    September 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was a good poem but not what im looking for..it was different and it dosent flow very well. I think that the rhyming is a bit forced and the poem is a bit chopy but thank you for entering my contest and good luck

    ~Chrissy~

    • Edna Sweetlove
      September 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      The poem is "chopy". Are you demented? I shall remove it fron your worthless contest. You clearly are bonkers.

  • ms. kitty kat
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    from contest holder

    definite gold. or at least silver, i dont know i still have three to read. but holy shit this was awesome!!

    thanks for submitting it!

    Kat


  • Matt Holck
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    brawny direct
    single syllables spit like bullets

    my private sexlife's twisted
    i love being thrashed and fisted
    i crave darkest degradation
    masochistic masturbation

    this changed the tone from a butcher mater of fact aspect
    maybe if the whore's inability to stimulate herself due to numbing

    It moves from the brawn to shame with out transition

    3 free jackalopes [[ Y Y Y ]]


  • Moonlight Raven
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I’m sorry I really can’t comment on this lolololol all I can say is it made me laugh
    Moonlight raven


  • Raelin
    January 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Another great write. I will be reading all your work posted here. You have a way with words and topics I will never have. I applaud you. Keep them coming and blessed be.


  • Yrusonvs
    August 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You really missed your calling, you should be a stand up comic. This really freaked me out a bit cuz it was so direct. I've read your work before and it definitely seems like you've got a thing for playing the role of provocateur. Anyway, this was entertaining to read a you got the role of a slut down perfectly. it worried me that you labeled it personal but whatever, what you do is your business. Then again, by posting this you made it everyone's business. LOL.


  • metrophobiac
    December 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Just hilarious, Edna!...my genre of erotica is usually of the more "elegant" type (the stuff I write,that is...) but I sware to God, if you are ever published, I am buying ten copies and giving them to my closest friends...! LOL! Bekah

  • Edna Sweetlove
    September 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A SILVER cup winning whores song is unusual. My thanks to `sevas-tra'! For another prize-winning Edna gem, click on the "(next)" button at the top of this poem.
    Edited on Nov 27, 7:49 because ''.


  • dp robertson
    September 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    One of the first rules of writing is hoping not to bore your reader shitless with line after line of ordinary. This is better than ordinary and just a wet lip away from brilliant. Good luck and thank you for placing the after operation photo of yourself. This really is vert good social comment- subtle as a brick ofcourse but good nonetheless

    david


  • Discordia Lamented
    September 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO...well now...say it loud and proud!! I loved this. Straight forward and hardcore. Delicious.

    DL~

  • buffytheparrotslaye
    August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Wet and juicy!

    The juices are flowing and the cunt is glowing.Stick it where you like dear Edna.This is flawless in terms of rhythm and mtere.Raw words that only one as sweet as you could use so effortlessly and make us all respect the Whore!


  • tinuelena
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    *laugh* Ohh, I fucking loved this.

    I'm thinking you'd like Lydia Lunch, the girl who Imokon mentioned.

    Technical note: great rhyme and meter, this flowed effortlessly (no pun intended).

    Keep penning,
    Elizabeth
    Edited on Aug 03, 6:38 p.m. because 'i'm not in fucking yahoo messenger...'.


  • Malabu
    July 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Do You Take VISA Or Master Card?. Wow...to be a street-walking hoe. Must be a life of misery. To love for money without the touch of meaningful love would make anyone feel like you. Money need not be the instrument of love. nor job that makes impure with shame this occupation will one day befall you. I can only put my hands together and pray. You not end up lying in blood-splattered sheets or an alley lay dead. There are many creeps out there. Hope you see the light and get a new life of pride.
    Malabu


  • Robbwindow
    July 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I am positive your throat would reveal your sex.


  • tupac
    July 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    lol. Good to see someone not letting the british side down

  • tupac
    July 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i am totally confused?? i see it marked as personal yet i'm unsure if it is or not. Anywho, on the artistic side it flowed brilliantly. Love the swearing by the way, i can never pull that off. Fantastic poem and thanks for entering my contest and good luck.

    Steve


  • MrsPepper
    June 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    In my mind's secret fantasy I would be able to swear like a sailor and still be poetic about it. Thanks for the cool rhyme!


  • Imokon
    May 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I myself just wrote a poem about dress lodgers for a contest, the book itself; The Dress Lodger by Sheri Holman is a morbid example of how far prostitutes would go and how it's sometimes not in their hands. This poem is harsh for those not familiar with it. I suppose I got over the superficial story and would like to know more. Lydia Lunch does a good job of explaining real fine details of her experience.


  • bloodislikewine
    March 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    It does have a catchy tune, but the rhymes like "truth" and "forsooth" seemed forced. I like it.. I do like more detailed and showed me more than telling me "I am a whore". Know what I mean? Anyways, it was well-written.

    Lady Tragedy


  • March 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    yeah i like it, unashamedly honest, n bounces along with a catchy tune nice one Edna!
    ~severin~


  • March 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    brutal, has a decent point to make and yet also, strangely humourous, in a dark way, at least. really enjoyed it.


  • Pretty Escape
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Holy Shit. I loved this. I'm glad I clicked it (the word "whore" caught my eye).. This was awesome.. Usually I don't go for rhyme.. But this one didn't bother me.. Good luck in the contest! I hope you get the gold!! This was fucking great.. Keep it up!!
    Your Repulsion,
    Sierra


  • FleshnTears silver member
    February 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    WOW...

    wow..all i have to say is wow....this poem is great i can't say anything else about it except wow...

  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    YOU DON'T GET PAID FOR IT??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    jee-sus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you for your kind comments !!!
    Edited on Feb 23, 7:09 p.m. because ''.


  • KatSanchez
    February 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I too am a whore, except I don't get paid for it . This is excellent. It's dirthy and sad and violent and wonderful. Great write.

  • metalhalo
    February 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    first time I've ever seen this topic being written about. you made it very comical to me at least. I thought the rhyming was excellent. I also got a kick out of some of your discriptions. Good Job!

  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    dear shifty

    thanks for your comment - the answer is laugh first - then cry - i am interested in your motto - how did you know - i never told anyone.....


  • Ferenc
    February 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great!
    In this poem the balance between pride, sorrow and bitter cynicism is very well expressed. And rhyming too! ha ha
    My aunt has been a whore all her working days, and she has a wonderful and sad mix of how she views (her) life that is similar to what the I-person in this poem expresses so eloquently.
    I clicked on this because of the title. Mahler's "Das Lied von der Erde" is very dear to me, expecially "Der Abschied". I don't think old Gustav would have included poetry as radiantly life-like and raw as this in a collection of his songs, but I know Carl Orff would! Do you know his "Catulli Carmina", based on the erotic poetry of Catullus? Nice!
    Being Dutch, I know of a poem by the respected Dutch writer E. du Perron, called "Song for an old whore" that is quite similar to your poem, but then from the client's perspective. He is equally honest and cynical about his role.
    Anyway, good poem: straight-foward, witty and weirdly lyrical!
    Well done!
    Cheers!


  • Shifty
    February 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    interesting choice of topic to write poetry on. I wasn't sure whether i was meant to laugh or cry at that

  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    to Glazecovered - thank you - no it's not meant to be sung, the reference is to gustav mahler's "das Lied von der Erde" - lyrical but black as hell - listen to it?

  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    to Sistatroll - thank you for your comment - you're v. perspicacious - the "sing-songy" bit is indeed intended to gainsay the blackness of the subject


  • glazecovered
    February 1, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, I loved this. Written with so much feeling and passion, it made me wonder whether it was a true story, or strictly fictional. Whatever the case - this was very well-written, the rhyming in this is practically perfect. I do not like rhyming poems normally, but this was just terrific. It is interesting that it is titles "A whore's song" because it seemed somewhat lyrical to me, but not as something that was meant to be sung - rather just a poem that is just extra lyrical.
    Terrific piece!
    ~Anastasia


  • NoUseForAName
    January 31, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I don't normally care for rhyme... at all... but, it works well for this. Maybe because of the topic, I don't know. But, the sing-songy flow of it, makes the seriousness of the topic lighter. And I think it works for it. Nice job.


  • sleepysmile3
    January 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    YAY

    Weirdly enough, this is one of the best pieces of rhyme I have read lately. The piece was very ...different to say the least, but what the hell, I appreciate your taking a risk and writing with honesty (no need to cover up your swearing and words!)

    Nice!

    ~Rosey.

  • ack1013
    January 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I clicked because the title was in German, sort of anyways. Interesting piece if nothing else.


  • Edna Sweetlove
    January 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    to ppuffyd: i know i'm a pro - it's my job - thanks & hugs


  • PpuffyD69
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Flow

    Professionally written, extremely degrading, Finger Lickin' Good!!! You are a pro.

  • Edna Sweetlove
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Disgusting - but quite clever

    Are you really a whore? Do tell me more. I'd love to have been paid for sex, but sadly I'm a bit over the proverbial hill now. Maybe I could hang out outside St Barnardo's Homes and score with the blinkies.


  • Itsalie
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    well written

    Would be interesting to see how well you write something other than "adult". You have a good way with words.

    Talia


  • Edna Sweetlove
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    thank you - i'll go to one of your poems to see if you're more cheerful than moi - rhb


  • care bear love
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    creative. Hopefully you really dont do that but if you do that's okayt to. I liked the rhyming schem...it dont sound forced. Good job. Interesting indeed.
    Casey
    Blessed Be


  • bloodlustgirl
    January 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that was so awesome

1 - 50 of 50