Searching My Soul by lordoftherings at All poetry

~by Gregg Rowe~

This morn, awaken by my dove,
Her chante song filled with her true love.
Her musical notes -- gaily chimed,
I turn eighteen, start my life’s prime.

I’m too young for a déjà vu --
Have to drink life’s lee, see the view.
My narcissism is glorious--
My first girlfriend said I’m gorgeous.

Then the truth finally came out;
My sexuality -- my doubt!
An issue needed to be dealt--
So I could live within myself.

I had idle days shedding tears--
And G-d, he did answer my prayers.

Live with yourself is your power;
I didn’t make you a coward!
Stand up for yourself, give it fight--
Being a homo is your right.

Well most people think this is kewl;
Being a faggot isn’t cool.

I live each day with no escape--
Long ago days when I was raped.
An illness has become my mate,
My sexuality -- my fate?

I don’t think so, I did not hide --
Sexuality -- is my pride!
The dove I hear so very clear--
Is the truth in my heart I hear:

It weaves me power on to live--
Hugs and kisses is mine to give;
Today I sit -- no longer cry --
I accept my fate with a sigh.

Author notes

Written January 27th, 2005

In a list

Course: Theory of Rhyme • next in list

A contest entry

The ways of derangement by Despairkitty. 300 points, ended February 20, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What did you think

Comments

1 - 17 of 17

By me, right now

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StrangerThanThouArt
January 6, 2006
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This poem is inspiring for people to be true to themselves and embrace their sexuality. Congratulations on not getting sucked into the judgements of others. Also a very good rhyme scheme and good refrain with the dove at the end. Bravo!
Despairkitty
February 19, 2005
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This was a fantastic poem. You definatley do not need to accept your fate with a sigh. This was a very well done poem. I guess it is not exactly what I am looking for in my contest, but it is a great piece non the less. I am happy that you entered it so that I was able to read it. Thank you
Despair
listen
January 29, 2005
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i love the truly heartfelt emotions.and it's like seeing into the struggle you had with yourself until to reached acceptance.it is what it is.you can either embrace it as a blessing in disguise,or you can call it a burden and mope.the other day a wise friend of mine told me,"don't think about what could have been.it hurts too much.another version of you is living that life in some other universe.now you are here.and you have to live that to your full potential."
AnnD
January 29, 2005
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Once again I aplaud you for your write Greg, such open and honest words from the heart.
You are diverse in your styles of writing and it is always refreshing to read new posts.
I enjoyed the manner of this write, it is clear and concise nd yet still has great feeling throughout.
I aplaud you for who you are and your courage through your trials of life.
> <
Ann
Miss Faerie
January 29, 2005
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You need not sigh when accepting your fate, as one cannot help who they are and usually there is no reason that they should want to be different. I don't think that you are a person that needs to be any different from who you are. Through your words I can see that you are a beautiful person, and you need not wish to be any different. I think that you are brave, wearing your sexuality and health problem proudly, making it more aware in society and that shows a brave and courageous nature. I am glad I have stumbled across you Gregg
aslanlight
January 28, 2005
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This is so refreshingly honest and open. It's wonderful the way you have made peace with yourself and G-d! You are who you are. I wish you Gods love and his power in your fight against your illness. You are right, God did not make us cowards and whatever our personal battle is if we are willing to fight we are blasted with all the power that we need!!! You sound like a courageous man and I'm pleased to have come across you in here.
hugh wyles
January 28, 2005
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Dear Gregg,
Although your poem doesn't quite reach Shakespearean heights for metrical correctness, it gets top marks for honest testimony. You add to the sum of our learning with your words.
Applause. Did you read my dedication to you?
Regards, Hugh.
SerenityNChains
January 28, 2005
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I stand and appluad you. This is a fantastic write Gregg. I myself am Bi and get razzed from both sides, yet also find a peace in myself, for just openly being myself. I have recently encountered a nasty little biggot that says my sexuality disgust her, when she lies and cheats on her supposed only mate. Well I would rather be me and disgust her, then be like her, and disgust me. Thank you my friend for such a fantastic write. i am bookmarking and rereading this again soon. hugs

Blessed be

~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean
Edited on Jan 28, 11:52 because ''.
jenelda
January 27, 2005
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Your poem is perfect the way it is Gregg jennifer
Edited on Jan 27, 11:27 p.m. because ''.
strangerideas
January 27, 2005
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Well, being a fellow homosexual, I have empathy for this piece... but I didn't like the way it was written.

Too simple, jazz up the words a bit...
ForbiddenDesires
January 27, 2005
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Good job
Wow this is awesome! You did a very good job!! It is an amazing piece!! Your a very talented writter.. I think you did a fantastic job!! Best of luck to you and best wishes may everything you dream for in life be the least you recieve! Godbless! ~MpressiveDancer
fruitsnacks87
January 27, 2005
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i loved this, i know what its like to be ashamed of ur differences, and not to want them, to want so badly to fit in, to be the same, i havent gotten to ur poitn of acceptance, this piece shows me that it is possible.. very good right, ty for this
Jacki D
January 27, 2005
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This has left me truelly speechless. The way you stand so strong!!!! I read some where that courage is the only one who knows you're scared to death. You have shown that courage many times. There are many paths up the Mountain my friend and I believe I will meet you on that Incline someday I will proudly grab your hand as we make the jouney upward.That is if somebody hasn't beaten me to it.
Again only my 2 cents worth again, but hey thay's just me!! Jacki
Edited on Jan 27, 10:36 p.m. because 'had 4 cents today'.
LadyUnique
January 27, 2005
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this is heart-wrenching yet soothing at the same time if that's possible.
no one would choose to be gay... you are born this way just like you are born with two arms... who would make the choice to be treated so badly when they didn't have to? yet if you are gay, how can you live with yourself by trying to hide it in the hopes of having to live with less ridicule? i don't see how either is possible nor can i see how other people don't realize this as fact. i just can't fathom it
to be raped for it and given a death sentence is almost beyond belief. if i didn't believe in God's purpose for everything then I surely would believe he was cruel.
that covers the heart-wrenching part of your poem.
the serenity comes from your acceptance. i am sure there remains sorrow and some anger but acceptance over all.
you are a gifted writer and i enjoy every one of your writes. i think i'm an okay writer and i thank God every day for that gift. it's saved my sanity since i first learned how to write.
forgive me if i've been too personal. your poem touched me at a time when i'm pretty vulnerable so i took a chance saying what was in my heart.
God bless and peace... Brenda
velveteen
January 27, 2005
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This is very beautiful. I admire you for being strong through adversity. This poem is absolutely beautiful. I really like the rhyme scheme. Beautiful. Keep up the great work.
God bless you,
~~~~~ Erika ~~~~~
Nannar
January 27, 2005
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You've touched many hearts this day. God bles
My friend that was a very beautiful write from your soul it poured. Many need to hear your story for we heal others with the words of our testimony. Be encouraged and thank you for sharing.
angelica
January 27, 2005
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Dear Gregg,
This is so very honest my dear Friend, filled with deep emotions and longings. You did not choose to be this way, it was forced onto you at a young age. You are loved for who you are, not what you are. So be proud Gregg, because I am proud of you and proud to call you my friend~Love~Joan