I lived many days ,
a puppet
on a big stage
never feeling safe, happy or loved
moving all the time
by hands of a man
from behind a thick curtain
I was looking at a world
spinning around me
moving with him
tied to his silk strings
up and down
without any will ,
like a wooden puppet moving on stage,
a thin thread tied to my neck at one end, the other
in his hands
something new just happened
that turned my life 360 degrees
When I said goodbye to my dady's house, travelling alone for first
to that charming island
now I will tell you everything ;
everyone before said I am beautiful,
he was scaring me from all men
trying to convince me that all men are wolves that will devour me after my first word
I Believed him
until I met Yusuf
The
most
beautiful
person
on earth!
when I saw him I felt
a strong attraction
his eyes, his smile, his lips, everything in him attracted me
when he told me come
come ,I will drive you home,
I agreed
he was singing in the car
a sweet song in his beautiful language,
we were driving through the forest
a lovely scent of jasmin filling the air
Then Yusuf stopped the car
I told him I was thirsty
when I opened my lips to drink
I found myself drinking from his lips
I have never before tasted
a kiss sweeter
than his kiss
I found myself in his arms in the middle of the river
his hands touching every thirsty cell
drowning it, in ecstasy
his hands touched me so tenderly
awakening a Genie locked deep inside
a hand that was
taking and giving, at the same time
all Old days were locked in a moment
time stopped
amazed,
charmed,
hypnotized,
paralysed,
between his two palms
his touch breaking
silent rocks, scattering it,
cracking it into small pieces
Yusuf was not Yusuf
he was
Adam,
and I was Eve,
who tasted a tiny bit of the apple,and could not stop
I found myself not Noor the shy girl
but Eve
his lips devouring mine
tasting the beauty of the moment
I felt dizzy, soaring in the sky
touching clouds
and love that I often heard about, I now felt
and saw in front of me
when I put my head on his shoulder,
heard his heartbeats, I knew what I wanted
exactly
his hands drew paradise and fire
I opened all dream veins, let him slide freely
teaching my body warmth:
of declaration
all craziness of sea
we practiced together
the mask of innocence I took off
his hands drawing paradise
I dissolved:
in a sip,
I drank
then, felt unconscious
all dry days were Quickly
vanishing
with every kiss from
his sweet lips
we soared in the sky two stars
Author notes
Written January 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- describe to me your land of milk and honey by deep space.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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lovely poem ,keep writing and best wishes
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this is just great,a lovely moving peice of writing,.
The awakening from the dream in the poem was really good.You put it across really well,i love it -
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thanks deep space
regards
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Excellent
Dearest Mona
How beautiful you are, and how woman. Eve indeed. Loved this, Sweet Doctor or Poetry.
Myra -
Bravo
WOW.... I love it when that happens! You have expressed the emotions and sensations of being enraptured ohhhhhhhh so very well here in your write. -
love with no strings attached, so many parents try to keep the apron whether kitchen or work apron tied tightly to the child but soon enough they free themselves and discover a world liess smotherd or fathered by fear...great write... Mona..artis
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I ,ugly a'merican ,am become child in the shadow of your
in(no)cense / am shamed being man by you.
Wishing world were otherwise.
Wishing i were otherwise.
Knowing i UN-wise.
forgive the childish men .
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Very good
The forbidden passion of our fantasies, well written M. Loved how you worked through the whole story building up nicely to the climax. -
thanks masterblaster i am glad ya enjoyed the poem
regards
Mona -
I am so happy for you, at last you are free to love your jusef, such a lovely poem full of such tender feeling, Adam and Eve, all the happiness in the world, it is wonderful to read a happy love poem, God bless and all the happiness in the world, lovely poem
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thanks ceegeeess
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very nice
Man came down to earth to eat the forbidden fruit and fill the garden with apples! this is the secret of creation!
"all dry days were QUICKLY
vanishing
with every kiss from
his sweet lips
we soared in the sky two stars"Thirst of passion is much more powerful and it should be quenched at all costs! The Lord of Heaven wished it! Nice write Dr. Mona!
Edited on Feb 27, 9:20 because 'Technical'. -
Thanks Pari I had the Arabic one ;
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whew Mona it is such a relief to see it all there
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excellent
well monaa.. you took me i don't know where...but you took me somewhere withis this exquisite piece!!!! -
HI Pari It is the story that takes place rvery day ,Forbbiden passion ,of course Yusuf took her home to get married to live happily everafter ;
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I do feel that there is more to the poem than the simple love scene, you have described, there are depths to your writing that one sees after a while because the first effect is always the intoxication with beautiful words, in a way the name Yusuf is an irony because the original Yusuf would certainly never have committed a sin. Your choosing to put it in the crime category makes me wonder if it is a social statement too. A young girl, always controlled by her father, meets a young man suddenly a whole new world opens and she falls under the spell of his love and gives herself up in fact cannot help giving herself up. The poem stops with her giving, what happens after is left to the reader to wonder, what became of her did she marry Yusuf, was it one crazy minute of madness that she was left to carry the burden of. The religious laws that our soceities enforce are to save young girls and protect them from the burden that a minute of forbidden pleasure could bring.... Was it love that tied them forever or just sweet forbidden passion with its many layered bitter fruit of regrets and guilt.
Ofcourse I am a romantic and hop that Yusuf took her home to his mother they got married and lived happily ever after.
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I see you have put it in the category crime, is that why you chose to post it as a story? It is very much a poem though.
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Don't ask me to critique it now, I am still in a dreamy state after reading the poem. Oh it is a poem mona though a story but very much poetic.
Yusuf, I love that name ever since the first time I read the story of Joseph, I loved his beautiful character, so it is a special name.
Your Yusuf sounds like a perfect dreamboat. Ah what an atmosphere you have set too, the sweet turkish song the forest. It is all lovely. wonderful metaphors too.
I love the part
"all days were locked in a moment ...........
....between his two palms"
and the stanza that followed it.
Oh and the last part all dry days quickly vanishing.
The only thing I found a bit distrating was there are too many typos and the commas need to be placed differently.
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A wonderful trip into paradise, and the awakening of passion. May you always live in the Garden of Eden!!!
Best wishes,
Moses
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