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Still There

Her name is said as if in a trance
 Tossing those delicately formed words
Like refuse, waste. Garbage.

Sickly smells of fornication
  overcome the cheap scents
sprayed about as an afterthought

The lingering thoughts that plague her
  are those of pensive remorse
If no one remembers, did it ever happen?

Hidden behind weary movements
 Are her ever-present façades
Stoic emblems of what never could've been

Author notes

*Exhausted sigh*...I haven't been able to write anything for a long time...eh, I don't know. I don't think I'm completely finished with this, but unlike my other writes, I actually sort of liked this

Oh yeah - this is the sequel of sorts to my poem "Nameless Dame"
Written January 25th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Crazi Beautyful
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    im speechless lol ..its a good thing


  • Shanny Snyder
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this was really deep. very full of images and youre word choice was outstanding. you truely are a very talented writer. i look forward to reading more of your work. congrats on another great piece.


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    March 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awesome!

    beautifully written piece, full of vivid imageries. i love it! keep up the awesome work I look forward to more pieces by you! you truly have talent! xXxXx *Jordan**


  • Empty.On.The.Inside
    March 10, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Great write, this feels like a very deep piece. Yop have packed it full of description, to help the reader pick up images.
    great write keep the ink flowing.

    SxX

  • I b missin u x3
    February 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awesome!

    I love it.. excellent job!


  • forgotten dream
    January 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is an amazing piece. beautifully written, and excellent wording and imagery. i loved the question it raises (if no one remembers, did it ever happen?) and that it leaves me thinking long after i've finished reading. wonderful job, keep up the fantastic work! <3


  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    January 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    There is a lot of pensiveness in this piece... it seems to reflect such feelings of pretense, heartache and rejection. I can't really pinpoint what this piece is about, but it is well written, and also artistic in a very abstract way. Maybe I'll come back and be able to give a better interpretation...I've never done all that well with abstracts. Fascinating piece to ponder, though. I like it.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora


  • minimidget07
    January 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that was good. It reminds me of that saying "If a tree fell and no one heard it did it still make a sound" I really liked it. keep it up!

1 - 8 of 8