Run your fingers
Through my hair
And lift out pieces
Of my brain.
Hold your breath
And never fear.
I promise you,
You'll breathe again.
Accept a life
That's not your own
And live it like
It's not to last.
A world where darkness,
Demons too
Reside in confines
Of the past.
Escape with me,
Beyond the stars
And underneath
Each little rock.
Discover that
The time has come
For midnight struck
At two o'clock.
Take with you
A light to see
But stand not on
The hallowed ground.
Lift away
From gravity
And listen for
The sightless sound.
Shine your light
Onto yourself
And let its
Wisdom ring.
Reveal to all
The truth within
And shine
On everything!
Then run your fingers
Through my hair
And on the ground
You'll land.
And maybe if
My heart were true
Then you
Will understand.
Author notes
...and exit with oh so much more.
(Yep, this one's definitely a kind of "Mental Utopia" where we can live in together in an appreciative euphoria of each other but most importantly, of ourselves. It's a world where the only thing that matters is what's presently happening so both the past and the future become figments of a life that worried too much about every little thing instead of only what we really care about.)
Written January 23rd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Utopia by WranglerSteve.
450 points, ended January 25, 2005, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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AWESOME!!!
Wow! This was awesome! I loved the rhyming, and every word captivated me! This truly blew me away! I wasn't planning on reading something this good! -
Great job, interesting merit. Great rhyme scheme, keep it up!
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This is one of the most intresting uses of rhyme I have experienced.That, and the meter were great.Did'nt seem forced anywhere.And I like the live for today, in the now message.Maybe life is groovy after all.Great write,Rob
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I'm the leader hoping for what might become a "love".
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Im curious to know just what angle you are writing this from. There is a definate relevance to falling/being in love, and/or having a child, as well as an angle that leans toward being a leader. Great Write. ~GameGodess
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Excellent
What can I say? I clicked on it after seeing the first 2 lines, but as soon as I read the 3rd line I knew I was in for a strange read. It flowed very nicely and was a good length, after a few reads I'm not sure I quite fully understand it but that doesn't mean I don't like it! -
joygasmic!!!
cool poem. wish i could go to that "euphoric paradise" one day. really awesome message and imagery to it. and i must give praise to how you commanded your rhymes. it's awesome. hope you win!
-gel -
great!
i <3 this poem! Great job with the concept, imagrey, word choice, etc. Amazing. -
Good
Wow, this is really good. I liked it and the slightly different message than the others. Thakn you so much for sharing your words, thoughts, and experiences with all of us here. -
haha, once again, you have amazed me ny fried. if only my meter could somewhat resemble your, i think id be a bit happier with my poetry. the rhyming here, also, are almost perfectly done, and i saw only one forced rhyme, but unless you had to pronounce everything perfectly correct (and none of us really do, and since im from kentucky, it obv doesnt normally occur to me) you cant really tell. other than that though, you wrote another amazing piece, and liie always, i eagerly await your next masterpiece
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