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Cant get away

No one knows the hurt that lives inside of me
The hurt in my nightmares
How i cant sleep at night
The thoughts still here in my head.
Burying my sorrow
In my heartless soul
My heart turning black
As cold as stone
The hurt shall live in my soul
It will never die
Haunting me day after day
Never leaving my mind
Darkness fallows me everywhere
Its my home
Where I can get away
But I'm never able to hide
The pain still finds me
No matter how hard I try,
I try to get away
Running as fast as I can
Tripping along the way.
I finally fall
And the pain overrides me
Killing me slowly
Ever so slowly
As I scream in pain
Not able to get away.

Author notes

Please, give me feedback.
Written January 23rd, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • TheBleedingSoul
    January 31, 2005
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    Please, give me honest feedback, since no one else will.


  • Ashley Mosely
    January 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    well i would give you my honest feedback but you might not want to hear it

    overall i think you did a nice piece at pouring your heart out and what you are going through

    ash ♥


  • Luciferschild
    January 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem, its very expressive and it seemed to flow very fastly and naturally, that was the best part


  • countrybabe gold member
    January 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well done on this piece. I liked the flow and the whole general idea of the poem. Well done once again.

    Countrybabe

  • aussiechic4444
    January 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sad poem. i felt it it was intriguing, powerful and quite lovely simply in the structure and wording it made it flow and made a wonderful work of art.


  • April Renee
    January 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    very sad. there are times in everyones life when theres something you just cant get away from. you have to face it. ignoring it only makes it stronger. good job with writing this. was worth the read.

    BLu


  • BlindAndViolent
    January 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    I like this...

    I've written similar works, so I know these emotions, and I positively love the way you addressed, and expressed them. . .
    I hope you keep writing. Secondly, within poetry, grammatical rules are much more loose, and easily ignored. Few do abide by the rules of the Queen's English in any respect, but poetry is the only venue when you can break these rules...

    Poems aren't about sentance structure, but emotion.


  • TheBleedingSoul
    January 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the feedback, I would like to know my errors. If you're talking about not putting apostrophes where they're needed, I know. I'm too lazy to put them.


  • DeceitfulBeauty
    January 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I really enjoyed reading this, It was full of emotion, Flow was actually quite nice, Was very easy to feel what you were feeling. Great job.. I can relate to this, Maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much.. Anywho, Great write.
    Frances Lynn
    The Br0ken One


  • briannaXuhoh
    January 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was a very awesome poem! It had a really good flow! I enjoyed it a lot because I could feel what you were feeling, ya know what I mean? Although, I found a few punctuation and spelling errors, if you're interested. (You can tell me to go fuck myself, that's okay too). Keep it up! <3 Bre

1 - 10 of 10