The world had turned a misty white
Lace crystals floating down
Smoothing edges of concrete shapes
To blanket frozen ground
Dressing trees in winter coats
With fluffy cotton sleeves
Where in the spring the buds will sprout
Into brilliant lime green leaves
Down the streets in long straight lines
Cars wear their white top hats
Muffled hoods and shrouded trunks
Like rows of copycats
Muted sounds drift on the air
Akin to a lullaby
Whispering to a sleeping world
As snow drifts by and by
Author notes
Written January 23rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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soft and comfortable. what a perfect rhyme. gives me a bit of respite here in this may florida heat
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Wonderfully done. The fluent rhythm in this reflects the gentle snowy images conveyed. I think your use of sibalance emphasises the wintery atmosphere and allows the poem to be read smoothly.
My favourite part of the poem was "Cars wear their white top hats
Muffled hoods and shrouded trunks
Like rows of copycats."
Thanks for sharing.
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I love this poem!
Wow, you really did a good job describing a city on a snowy day! I like the end rhyme a lot and it flows so nicely! I also like the background! My favorite lines are:
Cars wear their white top hats
Muffled hoods and shrouded trunks
Like rows of copycats
That is such a genious way of describing cars with snow on top of them. I bet you were either outside or looking out your window when you wrote this! Keep writing! -
The world had turned a misty white
Lace crystals floating down
Smoothing edges of concrete shapes
To blanket frozen ground
I loved your very first paragraph. It started the poem in a brilliant, blissful web of words. The flow is fantastic, its skips abeat!
Down the streets in long straight lines
Cars wear their white top hats
Muffled hoods and shrouded trunks
Like rows of copycats
Second verse! Is also FANTASTIC. The whole piece of work could use some punctuation but overall its a brilliant poem. I love how you keep referring to white, it really puts a picture in my mind. this is an exquisite, beautifully written piece of work. keep it up, talented poet!
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Hi Hun.... Good to see you again. I'll have to stop by and see what you've been up to... Been busy with Catz opening a new page... allpoetry.com/poem/2042720
Take a look when you get a minute..
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
No snow. I will just have to settle for ice in my drink.
Well read after a long time.
Smooth as a good scotch (where I would never put ice)
John -
LOL... Thanks for stopping by again, John.
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
Rx: 1 cup cocoa, feet up near fire! Call in A
Hi Pat,
Yes I read this once and forgot!LOL But that didn't dissuade my thinking to put my feet into this pc screen and cool off my pedals!
Very atmospheric, and quiet as a snowdrift!
Be well.........................John -
Makes you want to go out and throw snowballs. I haven't seen a snowball in almost thirty years!
Lovely wintry poem and wintry rhymes.
Regards from Las Vegas..................John -
I never thought I'd say it...
but in my move to Texas
somehow I will miss the snow.
somehow the mountains of colorado grew on me in the 25 yrs that I lived there.
Thank you for reminding me of its beauty!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
a beautiful piece... when i was in uk i so wanted to see snow...but it never happened... as soon as i got home it snowed... typical eh? lol. thanx fer yer comments on my poem hon, hope all goin well fer u,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Thank You, John...
We seem to be getting our share of it this year. The forcast says we're due to get a bit more this week but I have a feeling its a bit too warm and we've seen the last of it for this year. So glad you enjoy my little poem..
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
This was very nicely written. I loved your imagery in this piece. You really painted such a marvelous picture with your words.
~ John
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You are so right. And here I sit awaiting the latest round of winter white. They say we might get 12 inches with this one, a noreaster, we'll see.
Tomorrow will find me baking bread while I sip coffee and watch the flakes come down. There's nothing in the world like Beef stew with fresh baked bread and hot coffee on a snowy day.
I know the storm is headed your way too so I hope you get to see some of it and make a few new memories...
Pat -
Exc
Those who never experience snow, a real snow, will never understand the warm feelings it stirs in us despite it's shivering whiteness and frigid look; a roaring fire, lights and candles, the sound of the wind making drifts, and all the ways we close ourselves away from the snow .. loving what it has allowed us to become.
Memories of loving moments in a warm room as the snow blankets the land are the most perfect.
This poem describes those feelings so very, very well.
Sag -
Thanks, John... Glad you enjoyed it.
Don't get too home-sick. You know how cold it gets up here.. LOL
Pat -
Thank you for the comment TLG...
And for taking the time to read my work..
Regards
Pat -
Great
This takes me back home to NY state. Reading it even gave me a chill . lol. And ya make me home-sick too
Great job . Take care, John
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Thank You for taking the time to stop by and read my work.
Glad you enjoyed it...
Regards
Pat
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Excellent imagery, its like a Hollywood view of serenity.
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Oh Pat this is very nice different because of the insight of imgination in how its thought out but yet creative in your reflections and decriptions. Lovely piece and it flowes so softy like the snow as you told it......(((hugs Ms. Pat))))Love,Sherry
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Thank you SterbendeKrahe for stopping by and taking the time to comment on my work. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
I too remember all the fun we had in the big snows... Great fun..
Hugs & Laughter to you
Pat -
Thank you Claire, so kind of you to say. I'm so glad you enjoyed my little poem...
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
This put a smile on my face. Mainly, because it reminded me of the last time I saw that much snow. I was really little to say the least..... what fun times....
This is a beautiful write that lightened my spirits. Thank you
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The control and poise of this poem, and the beautiful images that it stirs up, are so crisp and still and unbroken - it's gorgeous. Lovely.
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The picture is from a blizzard we had years ago but we got our first taste of snow last week that left almost a foot of the white stuff. I couldn't get a good shot of it so I used that one. But it fit the poem. LOL
Thanks for stopping by....
Hugs
Pat -
This looks very much like my world in Minnesota. We have had so much snow this last month. Lovely write Pat.
Red -
I really enjoyed this poem. Hawaii girl that I am (even though transplanted to the Oregon coast) I have rarely experienced snow in more than 20 years. But this reminded me. I particularly enjoyed the lines "Dressing trees in winter coats/With fluffy cotton sleeves" and "Muffled hoods and shrouded trunks/Like rows of copycats". Delightful. And the graphic was perfect...as was your choice of background.
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Thank you, Mac for your kind words. It was so nice of you to stop by to read my work.
Regards
Pat -
Brilliant. So enjoyable and the imagery took me there. Wonderful flow and presentation. I love it. A marvelous, creative work of art.
Mac -
Thank you sweetie for your kind words.We get snow from time to time but not like we did last night. 10 inches and it's cold enough that it should be around for a while. I just wish I were a kid again.
Hugs & Laughter
Pat -
This is just lovely. The metaphores of clothing, so creative and fitting. That last stanza I can understand. We get just a dusting here and again this far south. But, that once in a while when we receive 2 to 3 inches of snow, it's as if the whole world is muffled. There is near silence even when the cars go by. The last line is the absolute perfect ending.
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Wow...this is a brilliantly beautiful poem that flows very well and evokes a feeling of peace in the reader. I love the images that meet the eye in this write. I also enjoyed the comparisions between cars wearing snow hats like copycats..hehe..very cute! I love the background of this page and the picture as well. Thank you for sharing such a nice light-hearted poem
Best wishes,
Charishma -
excellent
We justhad all our snow washed away by some record rainfalls.
Your poem flowed smoother than the light drifting of fresh snow. A real pleasure to read.
thanks,
John
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