U gave me life
Gave me dreams
All snatched by this depression
Fate has been played once more
The plates have shifted
I'm in the water sinking
All the love is snatched away
You drift to land, leaving me to die
I miss you, but i dare not to call
You have left, with the droplets on your face
Maybe one day of freedom, is all needed
My heart had a shock before death
Now u have stole everything by a whisper
Waved before the escape, as I drowned to freedom
Author notes
11)well its not exactally someone i luv but whateva...\
Written January 21st, 2005
A contest entry
- 16 choices, two rules by St Jimmy.
300 points, ended February 6, 2005, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Beautiful, expressive write!
This is truly a beautifully written poem. It is very emotionally expressive. I cannot believe that it is not written to someone that you loved? I would most definitely change it, however, and type out the word "You". There are a couple of grammatical errors, if you would like help, I'd gladly help you. This is a MOST deserving write of such help. Such a beautiful poem it is
I'm shocked that it has no comments. It is truly lovely. IM me if you like. I was raised by two English Majors who were relentless on me my entire life!
Gheeesh!
Many blessings and
s
~ Becky ~
1 old applause
