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Two Point Four

Clocks and commuter trains dictate your life
Meetings in bored-rooms, then home to the wife
Budgets and payments balance on the knife
Welcome to your two point four adult life

The kids scream for more when there's just no cash
Sunday you're part of the great trolley dash
So wonder when life became one bad hash
Welcome to this two point four adult crash

Look for some comfort from all that you are
Fucking some girl in your family car
It's pretty damn clear you've not come that far
Welcome to your two point four...

two point four...

So is this the life you dreamt for yourself? The "safe, reliable job", the 2 litre, the 4 bed semi in a respectable middle class street? The doting wife, adoring children, faithful labrador?

Practicality, sensibility, responsibility?

So shut up your mouth and don't dare complain
Passed caring for an unwashable stain
Bed bound you writhe with a new phantom pain
Welcome to this two point four adult chain

Author notes

I'm angry at the way people presume to project their generic dreams onto me of late.

Consider this the grand "up yours".
Written January 21st, 2005

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • No--Name
    March 28, 2005
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    I read so much anger into this piece. I like the rhyming, it creates contrast with the harsh words and makes the meaning come out better.

    I get this feeling sometimes when people I know seem to imply through their words "This is how you should be living your life" "These are the friends you should have" "This is the way you should feel" when all they should do is shut up and not judge the way anyone wants to lead their life.

  • TooRainbow silver member
    January 22, 2005
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    INGENIUS!!

    The subtle connections you draw give this piece real substance. Too numerous to mention all so I'll go with a couple of my faves: 2.4 ("C" or average, # of kids in the average nuclear family, then tied to 2 litre and 4 bed semi) and "hash" (drug, but not used that way) rhymed with "crash" (coming down from a drug high, but not used that way) and the way you "mis"spelled board-rooms . . .INGENIUS!! Definitely worthy of publication. Keep on writing!

  • XxSkittle-SmilesxX
    January 22, 2005
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    hey this is really good...so true...im scared to become an adult, often seems so hypocritacal. awesome write, keep it up

  • Ego Tripper
    January 22, 2005
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    content-wise this is awesome. it reflects my own fear of the hypocrisy of adult life and confusion of why anybody would want one.


  • Question
    January 22, 2005
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    hhhmmmmmm...... interesting. differentt, that is for sure. different is what true art is, though. good job, keep it up!


  • Wolfwarrioress
    January 22, 2005
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    Awesome

    This is awesome! I love it! Although, some of the lines coming before "Welcome to this two point four adult crash" dont quite match up with the rythm, it sort of disrupts the flow. But overal, very nice job!

  • shootingstar98907
    January 22, 2005
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    very good

    This poem is really true. And America and today's society is hypocritical like that. I agree with Monochrome Suicide basically, but I also admire that it flows so nicely and sounds so good when you read it. Keep up the good work and never quit writing.


  • silica silver member
    January 22, 2005
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    Quite right! And how many actually have 2.4 kids? ZERO! So that’s statistics for you! You aren’t the only poet on here suffering from the massive mediocrity of the masses – just don’t let them win! Not loud enough to drown out that constant and annoying drone of drones but in the right direction! Have a round of applause and a minor promotion!


  • Monochrome Suicide
    January 21, 2005
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    This is very good! It reminds me of the hypocrisy America is today. I especially liked:

    Look for some comfort from all that you are
    Fucking some girl in your family car
    It's pretty damn clear you've not come that far

    Nice job!

1 - 9 of 9