Hearing the rumbling thunder outside
That can’t compare to the fury in my eyes.
Feeling the lightning’s flashing bolt
That doesn’t come close to my weak heart’s jolt.
And through it all there are no smiles
Just whimpering souls and cries of denial.
Now holding up feels so far away
Because all signs of hope have flitted away.
So how do we keep on going now,
When optimist voices make no sound?
And how do we keep our chins in the air,
When everyone just doesn’t seem to care?
I close my eyes thinking I’ll make it through
Though I know deep inside what I say isn’t true.
As I see myself stopping still in a dream
Watching my river of goals turn to streams.
Now the endings come before new beginnings
Finding it hard to regain the feeling of winning.
All strength is unwinding revealing this fear
Shown on faces of salt left from dried tears.
Author notes
It's hard to find the path again when it is lost. It's hard to find courage again when all u see is fear..
Written January 18th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow...i'm speechless...I agree with Trace My Image 12, this is one of the most incredible poems i have ever laid eyes on!, i like how it rhymed, but i feel so sorry for you, i think i know what ur talking about, and you can do it! in every person there is a small voice of negitivity, don't let that voice take over! you can do it, and you will, and when you do, be ready to wow the world! Just know that i'm behind you all the way, and from how i know you... you can do anything you want to, without a push. you'd go and take the world by surprize all on your own, but just know that i'm behind you all the way, no matter what! mwah. good luck.. i know you can do it.
love always,
Noor lalalolo11 Nooreo(your's and only your nickname for me)*heart* xxxxoooo -
My God! This has to be one of the most incredible poems I have ever laid eyes on! The flow is fantastic, and the wording is so... placed! The puzzle was completely put together, and I felt like I was standing there seeing all of what was taking place. WOW... and I mean WOW! This poem is so outstanding! I especially liked the metaphors used, and the lines:
And through it all there are no smiles
Just whimpering souls and cries of denial.
That really sets the impact. When I got to these lines, it struck my attention. Spectacular write, and this is going onto my "Bookmarks" List.
~Taylor <3 -
Very good i would LOVe to read more of your work
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Sometimes we have to look back, before we can step forword. If we can understand or even just see where we were, then sometimes the path ahead becomes a wee bit more visible. The problem is we keep trying to make our lives go the direction we think they should go. Sometimes it is just better to sit back and go for a ride. Who knows where you may end up. enjoy.
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Sometimes life is hard but in my opinion poetry lightens the load and strengthens the mind. I love this poem it is a wonderful piece of art that seems to come straight from your heart. Artist paint pictures on what they see in their inner eye, but for poets it seems to be a little harder to let the reader see your prospective. You did a wonderful job of drawling in the reader. This is a wonderful example of word art at work. Most poet struggle to grasp their full potential but I see that you are having no trouble what so ever. You are doing great things. Keep up the good work Rain!
Donnia
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This is a nice write but I must admit I am a bit tired of doom and gloom, then again some of the best poems are written when we are under stress or unhappy, it seems to work like a therapy letting out our feelings on the page, This is good but I wish there were more happy or other types of poems around, it almost seems that the whole world is crying for one reason or another, keep penning I hope something happens in your life that helps you write a master piece full of light instead of these dark but good works of art, all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for, hugs
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Oh this is beautiful! No comments?
I will change that!
I loved this stanza:
"I close my eyes thinking I’ll make it through
Though I know deep inside what I say isn’t true.
As I see myself stopping still in a dream
Watching my river of goals turn to streams."
along with this one:
"Now the endings come before new beginnings
Finding it hard to regain the feeling of winning.
All strength is unwinding revealing this fear
Shown on faces of salt left from dried tears."
They were both really beautiful. I think they summed the piece up perfectly.. Great imagery. I wrote something a bit along the lines of forgotten and lost hopes and dreams. It's called "Shattered Dreams" Very very short poem I wrote in 7th grade, but yeah.
Keep up the awesome work!
-Kayla-
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