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Deficient

Your alcoholic thoughts
                 transcend
                              a safety
           played on
                       your conscience
                                      (or lack of).
To wake up
                 is to say good-bye
           to every last night
                                    forgotten
              as Puerto Rico
      and Chicago
                        slip from your
    tempera paint (fingernails).
Your dreams
                              of Oxygen
                 are in dire need
       of warmth  
                                       and reality,
but every time
                      you promise to
                                     remember,
the translation
              in braille
                                 after careful interpretation
            is
                            "your name
                   will be the first thing
                                          gone."

And it scares me.

Author notes

for a friend whom I'm losing to alcohol
Written January 17th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • -Hinoto Dreamer-
    March 4, 2005
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    That's really sad. v.v Can't say as if I've ever had much experience with alcohol but other stuff--definitely. That's so powerful and nearly upsetting--it speaks to me. Well all I can say is that I hope your friend wakes up soon. ::hugz:: Take care and keep writing, not only does it help but you're also very good at it.

    ~Alexandra~
    - And thank you for the wonderful critique of my work ^^;; -


  • OceanSleeper
    February 15, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful stuff jamie and excellent as usual, as others have said its good that you can broach a subject like this in such a powerful and constructive way. A very prevoking piece, still really loving your work! speak to you soon, take care xsleeperx


  • InsaneAlice
    February 4, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is such an imaginative and unique way to tackle such a hard subject. I admire your strength and courage. And also your talent!
    About the comment you left me the other day - likewise to you! I LOVE reading your poems. They're so inspirational. You're a star!
    Ali xxx

  • unitethenations
    January 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, Jamie. I know this whole experience (I guess you could call it that) has been hard for you, and it's a blessing that you have the ability (and talent!) to express what you're feeling in such a beneficial way. Hang in there.

  • o c t o b e r
    January 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    that is absolutely phenomenal. an interesting and unique way to approach a tough subject.

    schweetness =)

    <333
    Kendray

    Oh, and thanks for your sweet comment on my poem =)


  • Exile2myself
    January 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!! that is beautiful! great job!

  • shadowchild25
    January 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow. i can relate to the losing someone to alcohol bit... but you know that... "your name will be the first thing gone" is an amazing line... so true... and that it has to be read on the figertips... that was an image that will stick with that line... wow...

1 - 7 of 7