"Come dance with me," you cried to Death~
As you begged him to succumb
"Take my hand, my flesh, my breath,"
Whispering,you beckoned him to come
But death came not when you pleaded~
nor when you offered him your soul,
he came when least expected-
and into night's darkness he stole
He arrived and took you suddenly~
in the midst of life's breath
without warning snatched you away
And said,"come dear child, now dance with death,"
Author notes
Written September 8th, 2002
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excellent poem and so close to reality. so many times in a person's life, one will ask death "will you dance with me tonight?" and then the night that you dont ask death to be with you, he comes like a theif in the night to take you away. life is so ironic and yet the most ironic part of it all is death. great poem!!
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Oh Susan...this
one possitively gave me chills! DAmn excellent write! I think even the shortness of the write added to its alure.
Has an ethereal sensuality, that I dont quite understand..and yet I feel it within this piece.
Many hugs for a wonderful poem!
Mary Ann -
excellence
How perfect the analogy of comparing death to a dance! One can never tell how long the dance will be. It reminded me of a situation last week. A family member asked me to call when his father had an hour or less to live. Pretty tall order.( Of course I very gently explained the hour or minute of death's dance is unknown. ) Through luck, or the grace of God, I made that call when the spirit moved me. His Dad passed over 30 min. after he arrived. Excellent writing! -
don't touch it!
Brilliant
Your words did seem to dance here -
don't touch it!
It's great, meaningful and full of emotion. I can't understadn how you can get everything to flow so damned well either. Great job!
-Will -
don't touch it!
graceful word play, almost get lost in the sing-songiness and then bam, you get the meaning. -
don't touch it!
I love your use of language....you are extremely talented,...
Adriana Rosas -
neutral
wow this was beautiful i loved how u said that death dosent come when u call it that is so true but it does come when u least expect it sometimes even when u think ur happy and living a good life u have to die. -
don't touch it!
i love this, you did wonderfully sis.
Come dance with death you say,
This is not for me and you, today
We have alot to do
And We will only make death blue
For we have to finish our task
That the Lord has already ask
He says to go on our way
Tell death he is not allowed to stay
We will not dance, or sip and drink
For we are far from he's brink
The Lord wants alot from us.
We are a family ,let's get on the bus
If the death wants to mess with you.
I am going to give him a lip or two.
And when we all are finish here.
Then God's plan will be near.
And He will walk us there in grace.
With a loving smile and peace on our face. -
don't touch it!
Dohh, forgot to rate it!!! :-) Hee hee -
neutral
WOW, This piece, I LOVED!!!!!! I think this is just amazing!!!!!! Well done!! (And the picture goes perfectly) BRILLIANT write!! Im adding it to my favs!! Luv, Lee -
excellent
Susan, beautiful but sad..;( Death come like a theif in the night I think...I think your poetry is getting better and better...Blessings, ~ Ce -
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Oh by the way, Love the pic. I snagged it. Hope ya don't mind. -
don't touch it!
Good Job. There have been many times when I actually prayed for death for me, but I have been lucky so far. I guess he has other things in his mind for me in life. One thing was when I opened my eyes to love, and was given another chance at it. Great write, I am babbling again, I do that alot. -
don't touch it!
Power packed full of emotional turmoil. Well done. -tj- -
neutral
dance with death! sounds like the sword of truth novels!! he is the bringer of death and performs the dance of death!!! moo haha!
J~~~ -
don't touch it!
Stunning...this last dance!!
Perfect imagery!
RR -
don't touch it!
Awesome...geezz girl you are on a roll with these...I love it..ain't that the truth...****applause****...where did you get the piccie...lol.... -
excellent
Ain't it the truth, unless you commit suicide, death never comes when you want. There have been times in my life when I wished for death to come take me away, but now I am glad it didn't. He will take you soon enough....keep on keeping on. -
neutral
WOW, I must say truthfully one of the best poems I have read on this site. The image and the words, awesome, really. Kick ass job.
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