On first glance
He is a man in his fifties
with sloppy hair
and misbuttoned shirt.
But look again,
and you will see
the eternal child.
He finds divine pleasure
in puffing on a cigarette,
his tongue curling innocently
while he exhales.
He is friends
with inanimate objects.
He will always remember
to say hi to the happy chair.
He dances the conga,
hands pounding his chest
with an abandon
only he can manage.
His deep voice rumbles
through the dingy hallway,
brightening my darkest day.
He must be named
for the sunshine that
surrounds him
Thank you God,
for letting me
meet Ray
Author notes
This poem is about a mentally handicapped man named Ray, who lived at a care center I used to work at.
It was my 15th poem written since joining the site.
In a list
A contest entry
- Partners in crime group please by Partners In Crime.
450 points, ended March 18, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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Congrats. Lets collect the three trophies and melt them down, buy some Moxie.
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Congratulations
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Greaqt job, and good luck.
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This is excellent, sometimes you meet people that have such an impact in our lives and it seems that Ray has done just that for you, i really enjoyed this.
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I really liked this one...as a nurse taking care of people I can feel so clear how you can get attached to some people....
Sometimes it just is..........
Good luck in this contest and in all you do...
Take good care of yourself too
XXJeannette
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We should all be so luck to know a person like RAy. you are one of them. This is a beautiful tribute to a special person...good luck in the contest.
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A lot of us in our drive through life forget just how to be happy, to enjoy the small things in life. Not your Ray, despite his handicap he teaches us all a lesson...if we're willing to listen...that's a big if of course.
Great subject, equally great moral.
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awe great write, thanks so much for entering
best of luck
Tasha
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"Poor guy" is all too often the thought that comes to mind when we see a mentally handicapped person. But there must be something to be said for the ones who don't have the everyday worries which are a part of our lives. They can be happy feeling life, seeing, living, touching, laughing, oblivious of the humdrum, the sadness, the trials of the norm. And when we're happy, they're happy with us and for us. So who are we to pity the "poor guy"... perhaps he's better off than all of us.
A good poem, a pleasure to read
Dee
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Handicapped people can teach us all so much if we just stop and pay attention Good luck in the contest
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This is such a beautiful poem. This shows that even mentally handicapped people can be nice. And are worth us being friends with. Because it is those people who need the friends most. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!
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I know, and love, other Rays ...this made me smile as I read it ...visualizing the eternal children I am acquainted with that also brighten my day!
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This is a really nice piece. One can really feel how much you care for Ray through this piece. I really enjoyed your attention to detail too. You've got a lot of really interesting and really unique details here that really make the poem stand out wonderfully. Great job.
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What a beautiful piece you have written. The imagery that was used in this piece draws the reader into it so that it feels like you are there. This piece brought a smile to my face as I was introduced to Ray through your words.
Best of luck
Lisa -
I love this piece. From beginning to end it captured me. I felt like I was watching Ray, the image was so vivid and touching. Also you did a wondeful job writing this piece. It makes a huge impact on the reader. Bravo to Ray for being him and bravo to you for letting him shine here today
Blessings, Gypsy
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Very beautifully written and very touching, Ray is a special Eternal child, I would love to be able to see him doing the Conga and listen to his voice rumble.They are very special all the handicapped, who deserve to be praised and recognized. Well done and good luck in the Contest.
Hugs Joan
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Touchingly Beautiful
So touching and yet so beautifully Lovely..captured each and every aspect of Ray as he is supposed to be --the eternal child--u have captured the hearts of your readers--Shubs -
Excellent job!
This poem is a clear example of how artists see the world differently than the rest. Where other people saw a retarded old man, you saw more and captured him brilliantly with a pen. I love your original descriptions of his character. Excellent job!
Thanks for your comment on "To A Stranger In His Grave."
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Very nice I love the way you see this man, 'Ray' he seem s like a sweet old man that is often missunderstood. Nice choice of words.Well Done.
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I truly love this poem! Not only is the poem well written, but the subject matter is so beautiful. Sometimes we can learn from the mentally handicapped. What a beautiful person this man much be and such a joy to be aroung. Hugs, Patricia
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wow, really touching poem.
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This is a great poem. It is nice to read something that is so sad, yet positive.
'He dances the conga,
hands pounding his chest
with an abandon
only he can manage.'
He sounds like a fun bloke to have around!! (Where did he come from? I might go and nick him)
I thought the idea that a grown man with mental health problems is only a child. I feel like that.
I'm 18 and feel about 6, so yes, it is a good explanation!
Great poem!!
Thanks so much for entering and following the rules and good luck!
Skitza
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this is a very clean poem (that is to say, not "wordy"), and really captures this person well. i think you handled the "reveal" at the end brilliantly; it could have been so corny, the sunshine-Ray connection, but instead it was delightful and understated. great job!
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Wow. That's a good one, it really is. I've always kind of wondered about mentally handicapped people, are they happy? And you know, a lot of them really are. And they aren't too worried about society and expectations and whatnot, so they get to show it. I loved your poem, thanks for entering it in my contest,
Amanda -
This is sowell written and heartfelt, I have experienced such as this with mentally handicapped children and it is a joy to see them get such jot out of life, you captured this really well and beautifully penned.
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Very touching poem, and it was sweet of you to write this. I found in this poem a very clear message, at first glance someone may look dingy (no offense to him, I'm just saying it as an example) or dank but on the inside they are beautiful with much to offer those around them. The long taught lession is once again in motion in this poem, dont judge people. Wonderful work, keep up the amazing work.
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wow! this is really sweet and really well written. I love the way you capture him soo well. Excellent writing! There are so many powerful images in here, I feel like I'm looking at old photos. THis is great!!!
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This is a wonderful dedication to that man, and you gave so much creative detail I can almost see him and smell the cigar. and I find it so special when someone you meet at homes like that really pull at your heart, they are truly special I know when I worked at the nursing home I feel in love with many of the resdients I took care of they almost came like family to me. And I still go and see the few that are still around and I know it makes mine and their day. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and heartfelt write.
Jenn -
isnt it great how one can be inspired by things seen and done in every day life... such as going to work- very beautiful write... thanx for sharing
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Wow, this was very deep. This was very descriptive too, I like this piece alot. Great work, and keep it uP!
-YoU aLl RoCk
-AsHlEy Or VeIrA aSh -
Wonderful! I almost feel like I've met Ray breifly! He seems so much wiser them most people in a way; because most people forget there inner child. I really live the stanza:
"He must be named
for the sunshine that
surrounds him"
His name is practically a pun and you spotted that. Ray sounds so sweat! -
Thank you thank you thank you for the gold! WHOOPIE! I finally got me one of them!
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I loved this poem, I have never heard anyone express my thoughts like that. Perfect.
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Amazon,
Hey my inner child runs free all the time! If I didn't let go and ACT crazy now and then I'd probably BE crazy. Ya know what I mean vern? Anyways, thank you for the comment!
Sarah -
This is such a well written poem, It would be so nice if we could all find our inner kid once in awhile Good luck in the contest
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Wow! Excellent piece! I loved reading this--the metaphor is amazing and unique, and the imagery is fantastic...Great write!
((and thanks for your comments on my poems in your contest. It's so great to get feedback!!)) -
excellent write here sarah great poem Raneika
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Interesting take on the theme of the contest in which you entered this. Good luck there! As for the poem itself, "marvelous" sums it up well. I love how you captured the unassuming purity of this person. You have given me insight into someone I've never met, yet now feel I know. Nicely done!
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I like this. How u express the child in all. Good luck.
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Pure
There is a child in all of us, tho most of us tend to forget that. -
Hey, good write. I love seeing dedications, it shows real emotion and talent and love to do that. Great job, keep it up.
-AzAzel- -
Wonderful
I loved this poem and how you use your words. i like this line the most,"He finds divine pleasure
in puffing on a cigarette,
his tongue curling innocently
while he exhales."
Keep up the good work. Also, can you comment on Catfish and Kat? It would mean alot to me, Thanks
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