Your mind
is in a different
zip code
as my fingers
try
to reach.
With hands
so small
that it's impossible
to play certain
piano songs,
I feel defeated
already
when I want
to reach you,
to have you back.
I just want
to paint you
one last time
so the last memory of you
can be a beautiful one.
God knows
that the previous ones
of you
leave much
to be desired.
Author notes
Written January 15th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow great write! i think this would make a really good song, dont konw if uv heard of a band called the dresdon dolls but it reminds me of their kinda style, really well constructed piece, perfect poem, i like. well done. angelx
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When I read something by you, I can feel the power as soon as I start to read it. I love how the things you write have a different form to them, mine is nothing original, you could probably not onloy find better on AP but the exact same thing to. I usually write what I feel so comments like yours (on my poems) really make it feel special. Thank you so much. Your writing is beautiful and clear of your experience. Great job yet again.
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sad
"With hands
so small
that it's impossible
to play certain
piano songs,
I feel defeated
already" <--- That's my favorite part.
This is a really cool poem you were very creative with your imagery and I liked the way you formatted it. Sometimes I feel defeated even when I've barely begun as well (well that's what I get from this poem at least.) I don't know if you're familiar with the old Playstation game 'Motor Toon Grand Prix', but when I read this poem I thought about the Gulliver's Travels II Level... ^^; Not that you care I just wanted to tell you what others experience when reading your work. Very nice poem! Keep up the good work and take care! I think I will read some of your others sometime soon...
*Thanks for the comment on my poem 'Resuscitation'!~
~Alexandra~ -
"With hands
so small
that it's impossible
to play certain
piano songs,"
I like those lines a lot. They just kind of...float, in the middle of a really deep subject. Another winner.
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i really like how you did the desired part, i just think this was excelently written
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that's saddening. but i understand the feeling. sometimes, i would give my soul just to have one last moment with certain people: so you can say all the things you meant to, explain the things that didn't come out quite right when you said them, see them crack one last true smile. kind of like...justifying all the time and effort you put into your relationship with that person with one last happy memory.
muy bueno.
<333
Kendray
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