I have too much life, and am not sure if my interpretation of it is right or not...therefore I will stay quiet and let my readers to the profiling.
Grew up on welfare to a mother already on her fourth marriage. Lived with physical and sexual abuse around me and my 6 brothers and sisters, lost one of them. She remarried again and I left at 14. Began cutting and drinking, ran the streets and stole for food and clothes. Sisters are sad, brothers are substance abusers. Not sure what I am...honestly, all of the above. Moved on to manipulate men and get pregnant as soon as I could make it happen. Rushed to get married at 19 and rushed to get divorced at 20. Started college and struggled though marriages, boyfriends, lies and more pregnancies, bringing two more dearly treasured children and a world of wants for them.
Finished college and very successful professionaly, mental health work affected me too much and I need more money so I moved on to business. Working on my MBA now at 29, and moved up to a huge city where there are no limits.
Still wanting my mother to be someone she wasn't
Still wanting to cut and bleed and feel pain
Still wanting more money to buy more and do more
Still and always wanting friends and family
Still unhappy, friendless and angry
I just want, want I just don't know what I want
my kids to be happy
me to be valued
people to care about me and my kids
if only she would have loved me, huh?
Grew up on welfare to a mother already on her fourth marriage. Lived with physical and sexual abuse around me and my 6 brothers and sisters, lost one of them. She remarried again and I left at 14. Began cutting and drinking, ran the streets and stole for food and clothes. Sisters are sad, brothers are substance abusers. Not sure what I am...honestly, all of the above. Moved on to manipulate men and get pregnant as soon as I could make it happen. Rushed to get married at 19 and rushed to get divorced at 20. Started college and struggled though marriages, boyfriends, lies and more pregnancies, bringing two more dearly treasured children and a world of wants for them.
Finished college and very successful professionaly, mental health work affected me too much and I need more money so I moved on to business. Working on my MBA now at 29, and moved up to a huge city where there are no limits.
Still wanting my mother to be someone she wasn't
Still wanting to cut and bleed and feel pain
Still wanting more money to buy more and do more
Still and always wanting friends and family
Still unhappy, friendless and angry
I just want, want I just don't know what I want
my kids to be happy
me to be valued
people to care about me and my kids
if only she would have loved me, huh?
- Last seen on Feb 24 2:25 PM 2008. Member since May 8, 2005.
- I'm a citrine experience poet for 179 comments.
- My mood is , and quote is "what will be is what i make it".
- I am a 29 year old girl (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a momma, USMC wife and mental health professional.
- Visit my homepage at 360.yahoo.com/profile-B.CKL.8ydKrTaG7jmc9F7dd445yGNo1bY4PxQQ--
- I have 179 comments, 9 poems, 2 stories
My Poetry
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bright plucked wings
before her time -
WITHOUT STRUGGLE
WITHOUT DEMONS TO CUT AND WATCH THE BLOOD BUBBLE -
Beware the lovely, lonely
new tease
My Stories
Guest Book
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memori layne on March 3, 2006Thank you dear sister I have always been jealous of. You had her love and her attention, and now you can't get rid of it. Cheers to our moving forward and creating our own joys within our families for our young ones. We will get them togather soon!
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sarahblu on March 2, 2006awesome intro, I'm so sorry things are so hard right now. But remember you always win and come out stronger. Each time you learn a bit more, love a little stronger. It is so encouraging to see you struggle with so much and be so beautiful. Remember only that you cannot make people be what you want them to be.. I love you and am here for what that is worth
always a sister,
Sarah -
poetryality on July 26, 2005Hello There
Leave me a link for that write you were speaking of in your IM and I'll be sure to read it.
Renee
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Danna Hobart on July 25, 2005Nice to meet you Thanks for stopping by my page. PPD is very hard to diagnose and even harder to treat sometimes. I look forward to reading more of your work! I was very impressed with your story.
