Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all - emily dickinson
GROWING WINGS
learning to walk and then learning to fly
My story...by Ellen-Jane Nora Marion Meegan (but you can call me ellie)
Some people look at life and say that you begin to die the day you are born but I see it differently, I see each challenge and obstacle that life throws at me as a lesson on how to live each day to the fullest, to never take anything for granted. I am so lucky. I have the most beautiful family who are head smart and heart smart. I have the greatest friends and I have been given so many opportunities to help my dreams come true.
I heave learned that the challenges I meet make me who I am. These past few months have probably been the most challenging of my life…but I am still smiling. My biggest wish now is to help those who are going through what I went through, what I am still going through. Maybe someone will be able to find some comfort or hope it my words. It will be worth it even if this only touches one person.
So although it won’t be easy…welcome to my journey.
May 2009
“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world” – Helen Keller.
I’m sitting on the floor of my room with my legs crossed and a thousand thoughts running through my mind. My little brother is trying to climb the wall behind me (he thinks he’s spiderman) and I’m wondering how I can possibly put into words everything my head and heart want to say.
Maybe I should start with the specifics, the things I absolutely need to explain for any of this to make sense. I don’t know if it will ever get easier writing this but it is something I have to do.
In October 2008 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma type 2B. It is a type of cancer. It meant I had cancerous cells in my neck and under my arm and it meant I was about to start a new bumpy journey in every sense.
It took me some time to fully comprehend the enormity of what I was facing and all the hospital visits it would entail but very soon after I was diagnosed I decided I wanted to do exactly what I am doing now – write about my experiences. I wanted to be able to read back over my thoughts and remember exactly how I felt at certain stages of the treatment. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t just gloss over the bad times when I was feeling better (and I never stopped believing that I would get better).
I remember my Grandda saying one day that the “Ah sure I’ll be grand” attitude is inherent to Irish people. I was 7 years old when I learned what that meant. I was 12 before I really believed. “Ah sure you’ll be grand” doesn’t really cut it when you’re talking to someone with cancer though, does it? and when I grow up, I want to be a nurse.
When I first started treatment I wrote down things almost every day but after 6 weeks I ripped it all up. That was one of my lowest days and the hardest to put into words but I have tried my best to recapture exactly how I felt.
The last thing that I want to say before I go back to that day in October 2008 is that I have learned that the bravest people in the world are those who admit when they are scared. I wasn't born brave but I learned to be. I'm still learning.
To Be Continued..
thank you very much to the anonymous poet who bought me this silver membership!
My Ellie pic >>>>> is by Starz of Heaven It makes me smile 
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all - emily dickinson
GROWING WINGS
learning to walk and then learning to fly
My story...by Ellen-Jane Nora Marion Meegan (but you can call me ellie)
Some people look at life and say that you begin to die the day you are born but I see it differently, I see each challenge and obstacle that life throws at me as a lesson on how to live each day to the fullest, to never take anything for granted. I am so lucky. I have the most beautiful family who are head smart and heart smart. I have the greatest friends and I have been given so many opportunities to help my dreams come true.
I heave learned that the challenges I meet make me who I am. These past few months have probably been the most challenging of my life…but I am still smiling. My biggest wish now is to help those who are going through what I went through, what I am still going through. Maybe someone will be able to find some comfort or hope it my words. It will be worth it even if this only touches one person.
So although it won’t be easy…welcome to my journey.
May 2009
“We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world” – Helen Keller.
I’m sitting on the floor of my room with my legs crossed and a thousand thoughts running through my mind. My little brother is trying to climb the wall behind me (he thinks he’s spiderman) and I’m wondering how I can possibly put into words everything my head and heart want to say.
Maybe I should start with the specifics, the things I absolutely need to explain for any of this to make sense. I don’t know if it will ever get easier writing this but it is something I have to do.
In October 2008 I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma type 2B. It is a type of cancer. It meant I had cancerous cells in my neck and under my arm and it meant I was about to start a new bumpy journey in every sense.
It took me some time to fully comprehend the enormity of what I was facing and all the hospital visits it would entail but very soon after I was diagnosed I decided I wanted to do exactly what I am doing now – write about my experiences. I wanted to be able to read back over my thoughts and remember exactly how I felt at certain stages of the treatment. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t just gloss over the bad times when I was feeling better (and I never stopped believing that I would get better).
I remember my Grandda saying one day that the “Ah sure I’ll be grand” attitude is inherent to Irish people. I was 7 years old when I learned what that meant. I was 12 before I really believed. “Ah sure you’ll be grand” doesn’t really cut it when you’re talking to someone with cancer though, does it? and when I grow up, I want to be a nurse.
When I first started treatment I wrote down things almost every day but after 6 weeks I ripped it all up. That was one of my lowest days and the hardest to put into words but I have tried my best to recapture exactly how I felt.
The last thing that I want to say before I go back to that day in October 2008 is that I have learned that the bravest people in the world are those who admit when they are scared. I wasn't born brave but I learned to be. I'm still learning.
To Be Continued..
thank you very much to the anonymous poet who bought me this silver membership!
My Ellie pic >>>>> is by Starz of Heaven
It makes me smile - Last seen on Nov 20 5:22 AM. Member since December 24, 2004.
- I'm a lyric diamond poet for 2,377 comments.
- My mood is
, and quote is "Everything happens for a reason...". - I am a 13 year old girl (Ireland)
- When I'm not writing, I'm watching dvds with my best friend and eating marshmallows.
(25)
- I am in the groups THE GLOWORM GROUP Being The Best You C, The Enchanted Realm
- I have 2,377 comments, 58 contests, 2 addlines, 1 column, 231 poems
Poems I'm focused on
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They trudged through many battlefields
Eating M&Ms and swallowing fear -
I see a sign-post
and it says 'Fear' -
I never thought there'd come a day
when our paths would start to diverge45 lines, 13 comments, February 7, 2007. In Personal -
When you're touched by an angel
Believe me you will know0 lines, 24 comments, November 21, 2006. In Spiritual, Love, Personal, understanding why you have to let go -
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Sometimes I think it’s funny
That I can relate most to a little flower
Active Contests
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i would like you to write a poem of story inspired by these words... 'Where rainbows go to sleep' You can use it as the title of your poem and just lets the words inspire you and take you on a journey
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Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune--without the words, And never stops at all - Emily Dickinson This are possibly my four favourite li
My Poetry
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All she can hear is the waiting
The weeks, the months, the... -
Let me tell you about my big sister here on AP
Her name is Symph and she just turned 23
Guest Book
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lilangelsnemesis on October 29I just read your page and wanted to say how brave I think you are. You did not say how you are today. If the illness is gone or not, but I will keep you in my prayers. You are an amazing and strong person to share everything you have been through with others. I am sure it will help those that are in the same position as yourself.
lilangel'snemesis -
Rose Angel : dear Ellie...little hugs... on October 5My brother has a rare blood disease, and he is going to need a heart transplant..presently on chemotherapy...I am glad I have met you through your contest..Please remember Bruce in your prayers and I will pray for you...
PLEASUREYOURPAGE.COM -
Sky Princess on September 25 i love ur page, the words are beautiful and ur backround is awsome i hope to see u around and maybe talk to u in the group we r in
Liz
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barefoot gypsey : So Happy to see you! on September 24Ellie, I am happy to see that you are still spreading goodness! Your new contest is a great idea, you should get some truely unique entries that will honour those who touch our lives so deeply.
I pray that you are feeling as well as can be and that you each day is a step towards another new goal.
Yesterday I was reading the meaning of your nickname "little hug", the one you told me long ago and it brought back such sweet memories... I was thinking about the baby shower and your birthday party with Adam.. It was almost like a mini movie for me! I've missed out on so much by being away... I'm sorry.
I'm sure you have lots of people to catch up with, so I'll leave you to it.
Smile! Sing! Hug your brothers and sister! You are beautiful just because you're you!
Love, Jennifer (remember me as Seoda? Lol)
